How to Tell if he is really interested

Dating isn’t as hard as we make it out to be. Our biggest problem is that men and women really think differently, I mean really, we’re at most times miles apart in our thought process. Men, and I use this term loosely have this idiotic idea that women can get a date or man anytime she chooses. In reality, you women really can, however to do so you’d have to lower your standards and women whom respect themselves would never consider this as a viable way to get a mate.

Women on the other hand think that most men are dogs and they’ll go out with anyone in order to quench their thirst for sex. In the real world I think women would be shcked to know that most men are actually somewhat shy and unsure of exactly how to proceed with asking you out. Men seriously fear rejection and if their very young, they have this very real fear that if he asks you out and you say no, you may just tell all of your friends and he’ll become the butt of all jokes in the community. It happens, and this causes serious consequences in his confidence for years to come.

This post is to allow you as women to be able to identify the signals to let you know if he is really interested (as if you don’t already know). I’ve said this many times over the years and some men still don’t believe me, “Women know everything!” You guys just chose to act as if you don’t know as a way to determine if the suitor is mature enough or shall I say man enough to convince you that he can be a solid provider for you and any future off spring, if it goes that far.

Now, I could make this a really short post by simply telling you that if you’re not surehe’s interested, then just ask! However, unfortunately some of you too lack the confidence and/or experience to be that direct to get what you want. So we’ll take it by the numbers for those of you are not sure.

1) He constantly stares at you, but when you look he turns his eyes away.

Answer: Yep, he’s smitten and you are absolutely right he thinks you are beautiful. However, he’s probably shy and if you’re interested in him as well, take the lead and make conversation with him.

2) He’s always polite and helpful to you and goes out of his way to assist you.

Answer: Take a step back and see how he interacts with other women. If it’s only you that he goes far and beyond in his attempts to be helpful to, then you’re the one. If it’s every woman, regardless of age or race then it’s probably his upbringing which means you may want to get to know him anyway.

3) You and he are always arguing about everything even though you’re simply friends.

Answer: Not only is he interested in you but you like him too. Situations like this are caused by sexual tension. It generally always ends with the two participants in bed together. I don’t know why, so don’t ask. I guess it’s just nature.

4) He never talks to you unless you’re in a group setting. Then he talks non stop and directly to you.

Answer: Yes, he’s uncomfortable with the idea of talking to you solo. Alone, he is afraid he will run out of things to say. This is where if you too are interested, you take the lead and carry the conversation. He’ll relax and you can see where it is heading.

5) Calls or texts you out of the blue.

Answer: Yep, unless you two were actually friends enough for him to know he could do this without your approval. For some guys it’s easier to break the ice electronically. Rejection isn’t as sever when there is a medium in the middle. He knows that if you’re not interested then you’ll simply not respond.

6) He always has something nice to say. Hey, I like your hair. Or that’s a nice dress/skirt.

Answer: Yes, if you noticed these compliments are appropriate. Now on the other hand if he says something like, ” Your ass looks good in those jeans.” Then he’s interested, but in something else. I think you may want to pass on compliments of this nature.

7) He tries to include you in on things he’d like to do. “Hey, lets all go have a drink after work?”

Answer: Yes. He’s probably afraid to ask you solo (fear rejection) and as soon as you’re in a group setting refer to answer #4.

8) He never acknowledges you. He’ll talk to your friends and in group settings he will not acknowledge you at all. You may say something to him and he’ll act as if he didn’t hear you causing you frustration and anguish, especially if you’re attracted to him.

Answer:Probably Yes. Chances are you’re the most beautiful woman in the group, work or class. Men tend to flock around you and bend over backwards to be near you. This guy doesn’t want to be like one of them. His goal is to make you come to him if you want to get to know him. He’s confident, intelligent and not about to be like one of the guys chasing you around all day. He’s also patient and he knows that you’re wondering why he won’t acknowledge you and your girlfriends, or co-workers are wondering too. He’s expecting that at some point your curiosity will get the best of you and you’ll approach him and then you’ll become friends and possibly a pair and he’ll have accomplished his objective. He got the most beautiful woman in the room, and he didn’t have to kiss her ass to do it.

9) He asks you out, to dinner, a movie, lunch or anywhere for that matter. The key is he asked you. Then afterwards he doesn’t call or come by as you hoped.

Answer: Probably yes. Sometimes men are not sure the date went as well as they planned and they fear that they disappointed you. Give him a call and ask for a repeat performance on you. By doing this you’re telling him that you did enjoy his company and he was as charming as he thought he was.

10) He tells everyone but you how he feels about you.

Answer: Duh! (Rejection fear factor) He tells people that he knows will relay the information to you. Then he sits back to judge your reaction to the thought. He lacks confidence, but you have to give him a B+ for ingenuity. Generally though it may come from a guy that doesn’t interest you, but if he does you may want to capitalize on it.

That was interesting, or at least I thought so. However I still believe as I stated above that women and girls for that matter always know. But for those of you that sometimes just aren’t sure I hope this little exercise helps some. If not then I suggest that you simply throw caution to the wind and just ask him. He may be a little shocked at your directness, but hell life is short and if you’re anything like me I do not want to look back at blown opportunities caused by failure to ask.

I’ve always thought it would be better to know the answer, good or bad as far as relationships go. I refused to look back and wonder what she would be like if I were interested in her. I wanted to always be able to look back and say, at least I asked, I took the chance and regardless of success or failure I tried. That’s what life is about, trying, taking chances, success and failure. That’s why it’s so great, you never know unless you at least try.

Happy New Years!


5 comments on “How to Tell if he is really interested

  1. Okay, I hate to say this, but this list is insane.

    #9, for instance. The guy doesn’t call after a date? Whether it’s just because he’s shy or not, that guy is going to be trouble down the line. Does a woman really want to get involved with a guy who doesn’t understand basic etiquette? Where SHE is going to have to always be the one making the moves?

    Or #2. Your saying it’s a GOOD sign if a guy is polite and helpful only to you, but not to other women??? Granted, that’s a sign that he’s into you, but do you really want to be involved with a jerk like that?

    Or #3. Always arguing??? Maybe that’s a sign of sexual tension, but it’s not a good indicator for a great relationship. It turns out that there are actually couples with great relationships (sexual and otherwise) who don’t argue constantly. Sounds crazy, but it’s true! 😉

    #5 and #6, and even #7 are just as likely to be signs that he is gay or maybe just thinks of you as a “friend.”

    Honestly, this whole list is really more of an indictor that a guy is hopelessly shy and clueless than anything else.

    So there’s no misunderstanding, I do like the blog, by the way, and I apologize for the critique. It’s just that I can’t get behind this particular post. Unfortunately, I’m one of those guys who never learned to just keep his mouth shut! 😉

  2. hhmmm…dude I messed around with loved talking to me alone…and we did argue…he was always trying to “fix” me…

    but then the fucker ignored me for 2 months…go figure

    from this post, and the obvious, it seems clear that he was never into me

  3. I have been seeing this guy for over a year, who lives right next to me in the ajoinng building. He comes to see me every morning and he brings me breakfast and lunch and other things like paper towles and dvd’s he give me money and makes sure that I have my needs taken care of. He has never taken me out when he sees me on the street he treats like a friend no kiss no hug. I approuched him on tuesday and i finily told him what i flet. 1. i have never been to your appartment 2. you dont take me no where 3. you treat me like a teanet when you see me in the street. and I am going to tell you why you do this you never taught that when you started with me you where going to get caught up with and have the feelings you have for me and now you dont know what to do. You are involved with someone else and she lives around here and you are afriend to get caugth
    he said that the reason he kept me unotice is because since he works with the police around here he does not want anyone to know that i am his women because they could hurt me. I laughed and told him he better come up with something better because i was not buying it. I told him all you need to do is tell me so that i know where i stand there is no way that you could keep me in the dark for the reasons you just gave me. you are seeing someone and she is close.H e got up put on his coat and said he was leaving because he was in a good mood and he was not going to let me put him in a bad mood.

    • Good for you Judith! His excuse as for your protection was as you thought a lie. If it wasn’t then how is it possible that so many of his fellow police officers have girlfriends and wives?

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