Have you ever laid in bed and reminisced about your relationship and wondered, what the hell just happened? Six months ago you and he we making love on every piece of furniture in the house, not to mention the car, garage and anywhere else you could think of. He just couldn’t keep his hands off of you and you relished the attention.
Now, he’s tired all the time or his work is killing him and he’s became distant and irritable. The once insatiable love appetite is almost nonexistent now and there are other changes you simply didn’t see coming and you really don’t understand.
Well for today I’m going to attempt to clear up some of this mystery for you and I hope that none of you are currently going through this but if you are this should open your eyes.
Most drastic changes in relationship are brought on by outside influences and unfortunately for women it’s usually other women. However, please don’t condemn these ladies because chances are she’s in the same boat with you because she has no clue you exist either.
Now, here are 10 sure warning signs that you are not his only woman:
1) Short phone conversations: Remember when he used to call you just to hear your voice and you two could talk forever. Everything was interesting and you would talk for hours and several times a day and night. Now, he may call once a day and that’s just to check in. The conversation is pretty short and has little if any substance. If you quiz him on this he’s probably complained about his cell phone bill, hell that’s a good excuse most times. However, why is it that when you two talked so much over all those months he never once complained about the cost. Also, since he’s calling you less shouldn’t his phone bill be less? Unless, he’s calling someone else and talking for hours on end like he once talked to you.
2) Now he’s in a hurry: In the beginning he was patient and could spend all day with you doing nothing. Now everything is rushed. He starts talking about things he has to do before you two even begin to discuss your plan for the day. If you’re at dinner, he eats faster, doesn’t concentrate and will go to the bathroom more than most pregnant women. (But he never leaves his phone at the table) When you’re at home he’s itching to go out for awhile. Excuses come at you like clockwork, he’s going to the store, promised to meet one of his friends, forgot something at work or has to finish a project for his boss. Anything to get out of the house.
3) Sexual drive drop off: Even your intimate times are rushed. Once he took great pride in making sure you were very satisfied. Now, once he’s finished, he’s finished. Oral sex is one way, and generally you’re on the giving end. Cuddling is becoming a thing of the past, once he’s finished with this chore of pretend love making he rolls over and goes to sleep or again he has somewhere to go. If you pay close attention and most women unfortunately do not, you’ll notice the amount of ejaculation is smaller. Even when you two haven’t made love in weeks the amount is very low as compared to in the past.
4) New items from nowhere: All the sudden he has a new pair of shoes, a shirt, a tie and you didn’t buy it. Funny thing is that generally you purchase and select all of his clothing items. He will probably tell you something to the effect that he saw it on sale and decided to buy it, or it was too small for one of his friends and the friend gave it to him. Take a close look at it though because since you buy his clothes you know what you like to see him wear, and he knows what you would buy for him. Why is this item different? Because the buyer has her own idea of what she would like to see him wear too!
5) Doesn’t answer your calls: Once when you first started the relationship, he would sit by the phone and when you called it may ring once before he picked it up. His first words were probably, I was just thinking about you. Now when you call it rings constantly, and it’s not uncommon for him to simply not answer it, leaving you to leave a message. When you ask about this he’ll probably tell you that he left the phone on his desk or in another room and didn’t hear it. But, isn’t it strange he never leaves his phone laying around when he’s around you?
7) Days Off: In the beginning you two went to great lengths to schedule the same days off. This was purposely done to allow you two time to spend together. His just changed, without warning and he’ll probably blame it on his boss. The same boss that was kind enough to give him the days off to begin with. He’ll probably blame a lot on his boss and work. No promotion, but now he has so much more responsibility on the job that either takes him away from the office or requires him to stay late, and in some occasions go in early.
8) Disappearing Friends: His friends used to come over constantly to shoot the breeze with him or drink a few beers, now they have simply vanished. Even though he still says that they hang out or he talks to them at work they still very seldom come by. Don’t feel bad though, because they really don’t see him either. They don’t come over because they know what’s going on and they do not want to have to answer any questions from you or risk the chance of saying the wrong thing and destroying his tale.
9) Mood swings: You didn’t know men had them too, huh? Well, if this is happening to you then you may want to look a little closer. He’s pretty distant when he’s with you anyway. It appears that his mind is somewhere else all the time and very seldom is it on you. He’s by now began to take you for granted and has become increasingly unpredictable. Showing up late to see you, never visiting you at your work place, canceling lunches or dinners and constantly telling you to go with your friends. This should really be strange to you because there was a time when he wanted all of you attention and free time, now he’s willing to give it away. However, the most telling of this is when he starts going through mood changes. He’ll begin to pace from time to time and it seems he just cannot sit still. Everything you say or do during this time irritates him and you find yourself arguing for nothing. This is because he’s either arguing with her or he’s nervous she may actually have someone else. He’s generally frustrated because if they argued there was no closure and there cannot be because she is not supposed to call him when you’re home and since you’re home he damn sure cannot call her. Time for another excuse to get out of the house for a few hours. Put some boots on because if he’s desperate he’ll tell you any old bull shit just to go see her!
10) Judas appears: Every boyfriend, fiancee, boyfriend has a friend who secretly thinks that you are way too good for him and wishes he’d have met you first. You all know this guy, he’s the one that is the most helpful, considerate, playful, attentive, and thoughtful. You ladies think he’s nice and you probably have tried to set him up with one of your girlfriends although it probably didn’t work because he’s actually consumed by you. (However, he will never admit it until the time is right). Now the time is right and he’ll began to position himself. Generally it starts off with him calling to ask for your mate (who he knows isn’t home because he already knows he’s with someone else) and then he will make small talk with you. You on the other hand will talk to him because by now you’re lonely and after all this is your mates best friend, so you think it’s harmless. After awhile these call will become a little more frequent and you’ll begin to enjoy having someone to talk to. Down the road this so called friend will simply drop over from time to time, since he was in the neighborhood. (Especially since he knows that your man will not be home because again he’s with someone else) Women who don’t recognize this for what it is have been prone to finding themselves in some very awkward situations. Here’s a guy that you feel comfortable with because he is supposedly your mans friend so you feel safe. He’s funny, makes you laugh and is attentive to your needs. He tells you stories and confides in you, something your man hasn’t done in months. He makes you feel wanted during a time that you really need this and if you fail to recognize what his true motives are you’ll wind up in his arms. As time goes along he’ll attempt to assure you that he is actually your friend, not true. He’ll try to convince you that you shouldn’t tell anyone that he stops by to check on you and it’ll be your secret. Sounds good, huh? He trusts you enough to have a secret with him, that’s a good thing or is it. In the end you’ll get caught, and everyone will forget that your man had another woman. All they’ll remember is that you were cheating with his friend. Oh, and that friend, do you think he’s going to stay with you? Not! Men talk, he simply wanted to sleep with you. There is no way you could be considered wife material because very few men are comfortable marrying women whom one of their friends slept with first. So now, when Judas comes, play the game and promise him whatever he wants in exchange for the information you need, which is: Who is my man sleeping with? Once you get that information, renege on the promise and kick your sorry ass man and Judas out of your life forever! Let them both know that you are not that naive.
I hope this helps anyone who needs it. I always tell my clients to pay attention to their environment, now I’m telling you. Don’t get so close to any situation that you cannot see what’s coming next. Always make your distance in life where you can predict and change a situation before it hurts you. Protect your heart, make men earn it and make them appreciate you for who you are. OK?
Final note: I have to admit something to you. I’m not an avid reader of blogs, however from time to time I run across one that I simply just like. I was surfing one day and I ran across “Pink Lace And Pearls” and the day I came across the site the author (Beth) had a post called, A Pre-Date Questionnaire. I loved it! I felt that all single women worldwide should print this out and place it on their refrigerators, mirrors or anywhere they can see it everyday. I also think that to insure that as many women as possible could read this work of art it was a good idea if I placed the link right here for you to get to it quickly. Hopefully Beth won’t mind. So please go here to see it: http://pinklaceandpearls.wordpress.com/2007/03/09/pre-date-questionnaire/