Although we’ve inhabited this planet for many, many years it amazes me that although there are only two different sexes here we still know very little about one another. In an attempt to shed a little light about my gender today I figured I’d compile a list of 10 things you as women may not know about men.
Some of these things you may know, some you may not but regardless they should make for good water cooler talk in the office.
Lets get started:
1) We really do worry about penis size, regardless of what people think. Some men feel they may just not measure up. To give you an idea how significant this issue is among men I read an article some time ago and it asked the question: Why don’t you see full nude shots of leading men’s privates in movies as you do women’s? In the article it stated that big stars will not because they have this fear that if they don’t measure up to what their fans feel is adequate in the package department it could hurt their box office appeal for future movies. See, it’s not only regular guys whom suffer from this thought.
2) Most of us at one time or another has slept with either a girlfriends sister (that’s bad) cousin (not too bad), best friend (oops!) or distant friend (sorry).
3) Sex to us is not nearly as important in a relationship as women think. Is it necessary, yes. Is it mandatory, no. Unfortunately, as the relationship ages we tend to think of it as a chore more than anything else. For whatever reason some women feel we are walking erections, this is just not true. However, #2 also gives you reason to think this way.
4) We do like to cuddle. However we reserve this for women we are totally unconditionally, head over heels in love with. So if he wont cuddle, you’re not the one.
5) We have an addiction to love. However, it’s just like the addiction to drugs some people suffer from. In parts of Asia, they call it chasing the Dragon. It’s said that the very first hit a man takes of opium will give him the best high of his life. He’ll never ever get that same high again. People become addicted because they continue attempting to replicate that first high. “Chasing the Dragon”, men do this with love. The first love we ever had gave us a euphoric feeling and we spend years trying to get that same feeling from our other relationships. Whats funny is, if that first relationship was so great, why did we let it go?
6) We really hate it when our equipment doesn’t work properly. Oh, and it’s really not your fault even though we may tell our friends you just weren’t sexy enough. Gotta save face somehow.
7) We only talk about sexual conquests that involve women we know we aren’t going to marry or be in a serious relationship with. It’s considered taboo to tell friends about how you perform if you’re really my girlfriend. Not only that but if I want to keep you, that also entails keeping our private times private. So with that said, if you go out with a guy you just slept with as you attempt to start a relationship do not be alarmed if his friends make comments or snide remarks. That’s just their way of getting your attention so when you and he are done (which probably will be soon) they are in position to see if you’re a good as he says.
8) We support one another. If we’re at a club and we ask you to dance and you turn us down, when we return to the table where our friends are they’ll make us feel better (lick our wounds). Usually this is accomplished by saying the following: Man, that bitch is fat anyway! Or, You know she’ gay, right?
9) Most of us that joke about sex all the time, it’s generally because either we’re not getting any, or in some cases we wouldn’t know what to do if the opportunity presented itself. The guy who wouldn’t know what to do, you can easily spot him. He’s the one who always has something sexual to say to you every time you pass him in a bar or club. He’s always with his male support group and when you walk by he’ll say something like, ” Can I get fries with that shake?” At which time his friends will laugh and it leaves you fuming. You can easily turn the tables on him by simply doing this: Stop, walk back to him and tell him, ” Do you really want this? Let’s go right now, and you had better be good. Because if you waste my time and don’t please me, I promise I’ll come back to this place, stand on the bar and tell everyone here how lousy a fuck you were!” Trust me with that he’ll shut right up because he knows that the pressure you’ve just put on him will not allow him to perform anywhere near what he’d consider satisfactory even by his standards. He’ll never bother you again, except probably to apologize.
10) When we tell you on the phone or in conversation how good we are in bed and how we’re going to make you orgasm over and over again and again. Don’t believe it, it’s a lie. Basically we do this just so we can paint that image in your head. By doing this chances are you’ll sleep with us to see if we really can please you continuously. However, we know we won’t and what we really want is to please ourselves. If you give in and fall for this you’ll probably be highly disappointed in the sex and pissed at yourself for wasting your time.
Well that’s it for today. I haven’t been around for awhile so I hope you can forgive me for not posting lately. I’ll make it up to you though and I’ll try to post something else in a couple of days, OK? Keep those letters coming and I’ll continue to answer them as promptly and honestly as possible.