How well do you know your man? Most of you if you’ve been with him for a great deal of time already know when he’s not truthful, but for those of you that are in a new relationship, for this post we’ll be learning how to become a human lie detector.
I have to caution you though, you should really ask yourself before we go on if you really want to know how to do this. Because once you perfect it, your life will change somewhat. You’ll find yourself looking for truthfulness or deciet in your friends, co-workers, your boss and even your kids. If you can handle this new found knowledge, then read on and good luck.
As humans we all have things that we do when telling a lie. Some people shake their legs from side to side, some rub their noses, some scratch their heads, this can be different in every person you encounter. However, the one thing they all have in common is their eyes. The eyes give them away every single time. They can catch themselves before they start to shake their legs and stop it before it becomes too noticable, but the eyes still give them way.
Now, lets try this. When your man comes home and you’re sitting around talking, ask him a question you already know the answer to. It can be something simple like, “What was the name of the apartment complex he used to live in?” Watch his reaction, his whole body because we’re looking for signals of truthfulness. He’s sharp with his answer, no strange movements of his hands, legs or feet and he gives you the proper answer. Try this for several days, always asking a question that you know the answer to because you’re looking for truthful responses and getting down his body language during truthful responses. You can only gage this if you already know the answers.
After several days of this and you know what his body language will reveal I want you to this time ask him a question (one that once again you know the answer to also). However, make this question a little harder, so that he has to think about it. While he’s doing this (make sure you are facing him) watch his eyes. They’ll go up and to his right (which will be your left) as he searches for the answer. Now, the reason his eyes goes up and to his right is this. The right side of the brain is where we store actual facts, memories as we call them. He’s doing this because it’s an involuntary function and he’s not even aware of it. Not to scare you, but you do it too and probably never even knew it until now.
Practice this for a few more days and get it down so that you can tell when he’s telling you the truth and then you’ll be ready to move on. *** Note- do not ask him questions that will result in a yes or no answer, it’ll make it very difficult to check his response because it’ll come too quickly.
Before you move on to the dishonest side of this lesson try this: Ask him about a tragic event in his life and if you’ve practiced enough, you’ll notice his eyes will go to his right and down slightly. He just signaled to you that there is a lot of emotion attached to this memory.
Ok, now that you know what he does physically when he tells you the truth then that’s what you look for when having a conversation that is important to you.
Let’s look at what happens to him physically when he lies (or now tries to lie to you). You’ll notice he becomes uncomfortable. Remember how relaxed he was when you asked him a question you already knew the answer to? That person is now gone, the new person sitting in front of you is probably doing something totally different. Shaking his legs from side to side, rubbing his hands, running his hands through his hair repeatedly, and when he answers you he may even blink his eyes quickly. The key for you though is that you now know he’s not that same comfortable person he was when he was telling you the truth. Oh, and if he repeats your question before he answers you, the next words that come out of his mouth is a lie, just thought you might want to know. He repeated the question as a stalling tactic while he put together a lie for you in his brain.
The eyes tell it all as I said before. This time when you’re looking into his eyes, when he lies to you, his eyes will go up and to his left (your right) because the left side of the brain is the creative side. This is where he goes to create that crazy story about how he got a flat tire on the express way at ten o’clock at night and his cell phone died so he couldn’t call you for assistance and the emergency call box was a mile away and the first one was out of service and then it took a tow truck two hours to get to him and change the tire because he didn’t have the proper tools to do the job. Also, because he didn’t want to drive around with a doughnut for a tire he drove all over town looking for a all night tire store to fix the original flat. They patched it and put it back on, that’s why you cannot tell he had a flat. That’s also why he got home at seven thirty in the morning with a different shirt on because he threw the other one away because of the grease on it from the tire change. Have you heard that one before? Hell, it used to work but not if you practice and pay strict attention to his body language.
Another thing you need to know, you should never tell him you can tell when he’s lying. You’ll only tip your hand and he’ll work harder to cover it up. You simply listen to his story and pay attention to determine if it’s true or false. Then you agree with him, tell him it’s ok and you’re just glad he’s safe. Then you excuse yourself, find a nice secure place and write down the entire story so you can disect it and get to the truth later. Be patient, ok?
Now, for those of you that are not in a current relationship. This will work for you too. Practice on people you know. Your office Manager, your room mate, your brother, sister or best friend. However, again and I caution you all, do not tell anyone you are doing this to them or that you know. You’ll make them uncomfortable because in reality you’ve rendered them naked as far as the truth goes.
If you’re out on a date with a new man, utilize these skill you’ve been practicing. While you’re sitting across from him at dinner, ask him questions that he has to think about and his body language will tell you alot. If he starts lying to you about B.S., then go for the kill and ask if he has a wife or girlfriend. He cannot hide it from you now because you’ll be able to read it in his eyes. If he lies to you about anything you should now know that he’s not the person you want to be with and when you get home you can lose his number and save yourself a headache.
On another note- never ever tell someone to look you in the eye and answer your question. This defeats the purpose of this exercise, you just tipped your hand. However, you may want to ask them to remove their sunglasses. Do this by simply telling them that you think they have beautiful eyes and you’d like to look into them while you talk because they make you so weak in the knees. (Vanity is a weakness in men too.)
So ladies, go out and practice, practice, pratice. Soon you’ll be able to spot a lie before it comes out of your mates mouth. But now I must caution you, sometimes it’s not wise to know too much. Knowledge is a powerful thing and if you’ve never had any reason to expect your mate as a liar and cheat I caution you not to utilize these methods. If you suspect then whatever you discover shouldn’t surprise you much. However, if you’ve never suspected anything and your relationship is fine, only to discover by using these methods he’s not truthful it can be a painful experience. So ask yourself this before attempting to do this, “Do you really want to know the truth?”
“The end of man, is knowledge. For there is one thing he cannot know, that being weither knowledge will save him or kill him. Oh, he will be killed alright, but will it be because of the knowledge he has or doesn’t have, and if he had it would it save him?” (I read this in College somewhere. If anyone knows the Authors name could you please e-mail it to me so I can read up on them? Thanks.)
Well I have to go again. I know what you’re thinking. (What do I do with the notes?) Don’t worry, in a couple of weeks when I feel you’ve practiced enough I’ll post ” How to Interview/Interrogate your man, without him knowing.”