Seeking Love On the Internet and why it’s a bad idea!


In today’s society we utilize the Internet for everything, to purchase clothing items,books, cars, trips and more. Most of this is done for convenience, hey, save gas, don’t go to the store I can have my groceries delivered to my home. The super highway is fine for some things, but to find a relationship it is not.

To find the right man for you, there are no short cuts and if you are serious about what you’re seeking in a man then you should be willing to do it the right way. Nothing worthwhile is easy, if it was then this post would not exist. Every one of you would have the perfect mate and therefore men like the former man I was would not exist. However, this is not the case, so lets get back to work.

Recently I wanted to increase the readership of this blog. I wanted to attract women whom were frustrated with their attempts to find a suitable mate in hopes that I could assist them too. Where could I find such women? I certainly couldn’t go out and recruit them off the streets. After thinking about it for several days I had an idea. I posted ads on the Internet. Not just an ad telling women to visit my site. But well thought out ads aimed to attract as many women as possible.

To accomplish this feat I had to think really hard and in the end I asked myself, “What would I have said in a ad if I were still the same old sorry ass man I was several years ago?”  As uncomfortable as it was for me, it came to me in a flash, I created the ads and I placed them in several cities. The results were phenomenal. I had 0ver 400 visitors in three days! I also received a shit load of photo’s (some very naughty ones, but I expected that) and offers to visit me. I was pretty much blown away.

However, something happened that really puzzled me. I directed everyone to visit my blog if they wanted to know more about me and most did. However, I had a few that wrote directly to me and I had to re-direct them to the blog. I encouraged each and everyone to read my very first post (My Epiphany-Seeking Redemption) so they could understand what  was attempting to accomplish. I still received a few letters that continued to press for a relationship. This disturbed me.

Then I got a letter from a woman and in my attempt to humor her into going back to my blog, she blasted me for tricking women into visiting this blog. I was pretty shocked to say the least. We exchanged e-mails a couple of times and at one point I thought, “Hell, I give up.” I got off the computer, asked my wife if I could go out and have a beer so I could relax and think for awhile.” Before I could leave the house I felt the need to e-mail her one more time, it was important that I get her to understand  that I’m not trying to deceive anyone and I mean this from the bottom of my heart. In the end the woman went back and read my first post and although she said she was puzzled, hopefully I didn’t lose her. My methods may not be the best but if I teach at least one woman something that saves her heart or helps her to discover someone who will be worthy of her then all of this will be well worth it.

Now back to finding love on the Internet. In relationships you need to be able to utilize all of your senses. Seeing, feeling, touching, smelling and so on. On the Internet you get none of that. On the net a person can be anyone he wants. A rich Arab from the Middle East, a Banker, a Lawyer or a retired Pro Athlete. You really have no way of knowing who or what he really is. As women, you are handicapped in this game of Internet love. Woman fall victims to dogs because of this. I wrote my ads based on what I would have said had I  still been a dog and I needed to attract some available female companionship.

In order to do this I had to make myself look vulnerable. Most of the ads centered around Healing my broken heart, or Teaching me to trust again. In none of the ads did I ever describe what I look like or my age. I never described any specific type of woman I was in search of. I kept it all pretty much generic.

Why did I know this would work? Because woman have this need to repair men. I came across like I was damaged goods. My last ex broke my heart and I need someone to repair it. In return I received countless letters explaining how their ex’s hurt them and they understand how I feel and need someone to also help them get over the pain.

As woman, you really need to understand that very few real men are going to tell you he had his heart broken. If he does, it’s just a ploy to disarm you and suck you in. Even when men do have their hearts broken, they tend to keep it to themselves and suffer in silence. Why? Because that’s the way we were brought up. “Stop crying Boy, men don’t cry!” Men don’t really show much emotion accept for a possible bout with anger. Think back to your father, you’ve probably only seen him cry once or twice and that was probably because of the death of a loved one.

On the Internet women make themselves vulnerable because just like in face to face meetings with a new man, sometimes you give out way too much information. As a dog, I was also a Chameleon. I could become anything and everything you wanted in a man, just by listening to the horror stories about your ex. If he always wanted to go out with his friends, I tell you I like to stay at home and read. If he didn’t bring you flowers, I’d probably send you a dozen roses the next day just to tell you how much I appreciated you going to dinner with me. If he never opened doors for you, I’d open every door we happened upon and to top it off, when we walked down the street I’d make sure I was on the side closest to the street (just in case a car happened to lose control) because I wanted to keep you safe. Your ex drink, I don’t. Foul language? Not me. Never told you how he felt about you? I’ll call you in the middle of the night just to tell you I cannot sleep without telling you how much I miss you.

Men accomplish this feat of becoming what you want to accomplish what they want. You unknowingly assist them in this process because you feed them the information they need to transform themselves into your ideal man based on the criteria you provide. This and the fact that your ex probably was an idiot and you harbor deep sentiment for him and you want to locate someone who is his exact opposite. In reality, you create the man you want based on what you didn’t like in you previous man. Unfortunately for you the new man is probably worse, but for a few months he’ll be whatever you want him to be.

Remember the six month rule? ( Re-read the post on Changing your selection process) This is why you need to wait this long. Because if he’s a chameleon, he’ll reveal himself within the first few months and you’ll get a glimpse of who you’re really dealing with. Do not complicate your relationship be giving in to what he wants before you know who he is, and he you. If you find out he’s a dog, and you haven’t slept with him then you’ve only lost time. If you sleep with him and find out he’s a dog you lose so much more. If he is a dog he’ll get tired after a month or so, and he’ll get frustrated (unless you’re a virgin) because he cannot understand why you will not submit to him. On the other side of the coin he’s probably catching shit from his boys because you are the one woman who can resist him, and that ain’t cool. Now on the other hand, if your a virgin, most dogs run. You see in our minds if you’re not a virgin, then it’s just sex and you’ll get over it. If you’re a virgin, we all assume you’ll really fall in love and it’ll be hard to get rid of you. That and the fact that deep inside, dogs really have a heart and they feel they would be taking something away from you that would be better given to someone who really gives a shit! However, once you’ve been deflowered, all bets are off.

On the Internet it’s even worse. If he’s patient and continues to write and chat with you. over time you’ll get comfortable and tell him everything he needs to know. This is important! Never tell any man, anything about your ex! If you had a bad relationship in the past, keep it to yourself. Do not arm him with any information about what you are seeking in a man. Do not help him in his quest to deceive you. I’ll tell you why. Because a real man, a good man, does not want to hear about your ex. To even talk about someone you were previously with tells him that you still have feelings for that person and it’s a real turn-off. A real man doesn’t need your input in what you’re looking for, he’s comfortable with himself and apparently so are you or you wouldn’t be sitting there talking to him. He is who he is, and he’s not about to change to meet your criteria for what you think you need or want. He’s not in a hurry, it’s not a race and he’ll wait that six months and be happy. He’ll be happy because you just told him something very important in he process. That you seriously want a man like him and he’s comfortable in the knowledge that if it took him that long to sleep with you, he’s earned it. Real men appreciate the things they earn. That’s why you don’t see them on TV with handcuffs on, or see them driving around in a new BMW and no job, or living at home with their parents well into their 30’s. They earn everything they get and they are proud of the fact that they didn’t take any short cuts because if it’s worth having, then it’s worth working for, including you.

So if for whatever you hate your ex and you’ve been chatting it up with a man in Omaha, please remember if you’ve informed him about what you like in a man or don’t like you’ve armed him with information that can come back and haunt you later. As a test for this post, if any of you have been in or are in a Internet relationship of some sort do this. Go back and read all of the correspondence you’ve had and match what he’s saying in relationship to what you’ve told him Then just to be fair, if he has told you something derogatory about his ex, check out your response. Hell, there’s a little chameleon in all of us. Goodnight!

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11 comments on “Seeking Love On the Internet and why it’s a bad idea!

  1. Just want to say thanks for the info. You have saved me from certain heart break and humiliation. Good luck to you and yours.

  2. Thanks for sharing this… good for you for letting women know … confirmation ! A few months ago I posted a few ads just to see what would happen. I got a lot of response, surprise surprise… At the time, my dog had just been hit by a car and had to have three surgeries. I was cooped up and going nowhere, because she needed to be cooped up 24/7… a few of these guys wanted to meet me. I told them nope, not going to happen for a few months, let’s just email back and forth. A couple did for a little bit but when it became obvious that I was not going to meet them, guess what, the silence was deafening… they all went bye-bye… none of them was interested in ME… all of them were interested in a quickie… so good riddance to bad rubbish !!!

  3. Pingback: Best Pheromones, Dating Tips On Flirting, Attract Women, Attract Men

  4. I really like your advice on not giving yourself away by discussing the ex. I’ve had guys quiz me about my ex, when I didn’t want to talk about him at all (over and done with), and now I know why – for ammo!

  5. While I agree that you need to utilize all your senses when seeking love, I don’t think the internet should be unilaterally ruled out. If women (and men) are smart, take it slow and use some basic common sense, the internet can be a viable place to meet a potential mate. However, that being said, most people lack a certain amount of common sense, and thus are often disappointed when things don’t work out well. Ignoring red flags in ANY relationship is a bad idea and will only lead to problems down the road.

  6. All you have to do is to look in the mirror and ask yourself what you see, if you want to know how to attract women. Catching the attention of women is about how you present yourself and not how attractive or how unattractive you think you are. You may be turning women off if you aren’ t taking care with your personal grooming because women value cleanliness. If you take the time to shower each day, keep your hair cut and shave, then you have just stumbled upon one very important secret about how to attract women.

  7. My hubby & I met via christiancafe.com website, separated by 1300+ miles, he made the treck via bus by himself w/4 bus changes, 36 hrs each way w/out breaks or friend. It took courage & resolve for him to do this because he is a paraplegic, wheelchair dependent, which made him very vulnerable. He knew we needed to meet in person, and electronic communication had it’s limitations. Your article is helpful & has good points. I would not suggest it for people meeting dates outside of their immediate area, though. Risks go up of bad choices when extra miles are involved. My hubby and I merely beat the odds and truly had God’s hand in helping us to become a couple. Great blog and insites; keep up the good work!

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