This post is directed at women who’ve found themselves in love with a man whom they’ve recently discovered is dog. Well, actually you’ve always secretly known but you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, and now the cats out of the bag because someone else knows too and has brought it to your attention. Probably a friend or relative. Now you’re stuck because soon the world will know and if you don’t do something soon you feel like you’ll become the laughing stock of the community.
You love him and although you didn’t catch him cheating you’ve had your suspicions for sometime now. Do you take the word of your friend or relative, or do you ask him about it and accept what he says? He’s treated you good and if it wasn’t for that nagging little voice in your head that keeps telling you he’s a cheat things would be a little easier, right. Now that someone else knows you feel you have to do something, and do it quickly. But what?
What happens if you leave him and later find out that what you were told is a lie? Then who’s the fool? You just left a good man based on a statement by someone else who may or may not have a ulterior motive. This can get complicated I know, but that’s what I am here for.
Remember what your Mom used to tell you as a kid? “Misery loves company”. Could that describe you source for the information on your man? If he’s a real dog and he knows the person you said told on him, that’s exactly what he’s going to say to you. He’s going to tell you that she’s just jealous of your relationship and that she wants you to be miserable with her. Sounds plausible huh? Then if you continue to push and ask questions, he’s going to get mad and raise his voice telling you how much he loves you and that he cannot be with you if you don’t trust him. In the end, you’ll be second guessing yourself and wondering if he’s right, maybe my friend/relative is jealous and wants to break up our relationship. If this is what you’ve done in the past or are doing right this moment, you’ve got major problems. He just won round one. However now what he doesn’t know is you just got a new corner man (me, a boxing term) who’s going to tell you how to walk through all this B.S. and much more.
Lets get started, shall we? First off, lets be honest with ourselves. You knew he was a dog to begin with right? It’s OK, the first step in the healing process is to admit your problem. The second step is to accept responsibility for your situation. Can you do that? If you can, then we can clean this mess up quickly and efficiently.
Now, ask yourself, do you want to keep him? Is he salvageable, and is he really worth it? Because this process isn’t easy, but anything that is worth it usually isn’t. On the other hand if you feel it’s hopeless and you just have to know for yourself so you can move on, I’ll share some secrets on how to catch him too. Although, for this information you have to make a promise to me. When you catch him, cause you will, do not be angry at the woman he’s cheating on you with because chances are she thinks he’s cheating on her too, with you. Unless it’s a relative or friend that actually knows you and he are a couple. Anyone other than that only knows what he tells them and trust me, he damn sure isn’t telling her the truth. Her only crime is believing what he says, which is exactly what you did too.
Trying to salvage the relationship:This process will take a lot of time and you have to be willing to be in it for the long haul. If you’re insecure with yourself as a woman, then this is definitely not the road to travel. If you have tons of self confidence and patients then you can make this happen, also it helps to have thick skin to deal with what your family and friends may say.
First off, give him a lot of space. When he goes out, upon his return do not ask him where he’s been. If he smokes or drinks, don’t sweat him about it. (Unless it’s drugs or drinking at a harmful level) Allow him to be him and you to be you. Continue your own life and since you have the confidence to do so, with or without him he’ll soon recognize it. Don’t argue with him about anything, to you, it’s OK, regardless of what he’s done. Don’t call him when he’s out, don’t call him when he’s at work. If he disappears for a couple days, don’t say anything when he arrives home except, “Would you like something to eat?” Don’t forget, when he disappeared for a couple of days, you are not to call him, OK?
Now, some women will read this and think, why the hell would I do all this? Well this is why. Upon his realisation that you have enough confidence in yourself, he has no control over you. When you don’t call him or sweat him about things he feels are minimal anyway he’ll start to realise that you are actually a great woman to spend time with. He’s out with his boys and their phones are ringing off the hook by women whom don’t trust them and he’s sitting there and you never call to bother him. Now is this because you don’t care, maybe? Is it because you trust him, possibly? Or, do you have another man yourself? OOPS!
He doesn’t know, and trust me his friends will notice first. Then after awhile they’ll start saying things like, “Man, I wish I had a woman like yours, one that doesn’t call you every 15 minutes or sweat me about where I’m going or when I’m coming home.” (Secretly, all dogs want to stop being dogs. They just will not submit to a weak woman.) Now that his friends has brought the obvious to his attention, you’ll start to see him going out and where usually he’d come home at 2am, now he’ll start changing his pattern. He’ll go out and sometimes come home at 11pm, then midnight, the next time he may tell you he’s going out but then at the last minute he’ll change his mind and tell you he wants to stay home with you. He may leave to go out and then a hour later he’s back home knocking on the door. Why? Because, now he’s thinking. He’s thinking, somethings wrong with this picture. She’s a great woman, she doesn’t complain, we don’t argue and she’s not jealous. But in a mans mind (especially a dogs mind) there can only be one explanation for this, she’s cheating on me. That’s why he started coming home a different times, to try to catch you. Funny thing about women and cheating, men do it more often but women do it better. Two reasons, they keep things to themselves. They don’t go out and broadcast their conquests for the world to hear. The second thing is, you cannot miss what you cannot measure. Women can tell when a man has been messing around. The first thing that gives him away is the amount of time it takes him to achieve ejaculation. You go out of town for a couple of weeks and then return home to him. If he’s remained faithful, ejaculation should happen in the first 2-3 minutes. If you come home and that time is above that amount he’s been cheating and you and he both know it even though you may not say anything. Now with a woman, she makes love to another man it’s different. The only thing that can give her away is her. Unless she starts asking him to do things she’s never done with him before, he doesn’t have a clue. As a man, that weighs heavy on the brain and heart.
So now, you got him home what next? Continue with the program. At this stage you may not know it but by making him suspicious you’ve made him aware that you are a special woman and you really don’t need him to be happy. He on the other hand has realised that his feelings for you are a lot more intense that he originally planned. The funny thing is you’re now pulling all the strings and he has no clue as to what you can make him do. However, now that you have his full undivided attention you need to again ask yourself, is this the man I want in my life? If the answer is yes, then do whatever you want with him. Because by now he’s probably very seldom going out, and if he is it’s to go to a bar and watch the game with friends. Oh, by the way you can stop that too by simply learning about football and other sports. Hell, why go to the bar and watch the game when I have a beautiful woman at home and I can drink beer without driving and spend time with her. Shit for a man, that’s paradise!
Before I go, I need to confess something. I know this will work, and the reason I do is because it’s exactly what my wife did to me. Today, some years later I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s my confidant, best friend, lover, partner and I’m oh so damn lucky she came into my life when she did. I tell her all the time that I rescued her but we both know that it was her that rescued me. I’m a very, very lucky man!
Ok, now I know I told you I’d tell you how to catch him if he was cheating but I’ve run out of time for today. I know I’m going to hear about it from some of you ladies, but I’m sorry. I told you when I started this I’d be honest with you and unlike a lot of men I keep my word. I will post “How to Catch a Cheating Dog” in my next post, ok? Until then, keep your head up, it’s your relationship, he just doesn’t know who’s in charge yet!