Why do Men become dogs? Nature vs Nurture


The first mistake women making in assuming that all men are dogs is this, they are not. It’s that simple, all men are not dogs.   The reason women-tend to think so is because that seems to be the type of men they’re attracted to, therefore that’s what they meet. Now, it’s really not you’re fault on the surface that you are attracted to these type of men. Actually it’s basic nature. We all know that in every species the female is attracted to the most aggressive of the male species in order to insure the survival of her offspring.  Trust me there are no more aggressive males on the planet than the men women call dogs.

However, for this lesson I’m going to explain to you how men with great looks, charming personalities, intelligence, coming from good homes with great maternal relationships become dogs. Trust me when I tell you this, they were not born this way. So you can conclude that men, all men are not born this way. So let’s remove Nature from the equation, shall we?

When I was in my heyday, chasing skirts all around the globe I knew how and why I’d become a dog. I knew the exact time in my life that I’d made this mysterious transformation and I knew the cause. (I’ll tell you bout this event in a little bit, so stay with me, OK?) Also, I knew that being a dog had nothing at all to do with sexual conquests. As usual dogs hang out together, clubs on weekends, strip clubs on Wednesday’s, a bar on the other nights of the week while looking for something new to hit.

Once while out drinking a few beers with some fellow dogs, I decided to ask each of them the question all women around the world wanted to know. How could a clean cut, intelligent, career minded, financially set, family loving man become a dog?

When I asked this question, everyone laughed, but no one answered. You see, I already knew the answer as all men do but for fear of looking weak no one was willing to speak up. After several more beers, melancholy began to set in and as if like clock work they all began to speak about why they had become dogs. You see, there is no how to this equation either, it’s just why.

Then one by one they all let down their guards for several moments  and recalled the events in their lives that changed they way they felt about women and falling in love in general. Coincidentally, as I said above, it had nothing to do with sexual conquests.

I heard one story after another and in the end they were all the same. Now, do you really want to know why men become dogs, and are unwilling to commit to relationships?

Here goes, every man I’ve talked to that chased women as much as I have and at times possessed two to as many as five girlfriends at a time did so to protect his heart. Let me explain further. Each of us sat in the bar that night confessed that when we were in our teens we’d all fallen in love with a teenage girl. At some point in the relationship, this silly ass teenage girl had taken our hearts and our professed love for her and basically stomped on it.

In one story she had dropped my friend for an older guy, in another he was seeing someone behind one friends back and still another she was sleeping with her neighbor. Regardless of whom she was, what State she lived in or what her ethnic background was the fact remains that young girls, teenagers, create dogs.

These become the same dogs that torment women for years to come. All the guys at the table that night echoed the same message, this one. “In order to never ever feel like I did when she ripped my heart out, I made a promised to me that I’d never ever love another one like that again. To protect myself I’ll have multiple girlfriends and in the event one leaves me, or cheats on me, who cares I’ll always have my backups.”

To a man there are things some feel are worse than death, and at the top of the list is to have someone you love spurn your love or abuse it. So hopefully you can imagine the pain these guys felt in their teens. It’s a known fact that girls mature faster than boys. When I tell you this, you can take it to the bank, the first love of my life I can still  see her face all these years later and emotionally I hate her. I hate her for what she did to me and the many women that came after her.

As I promised earlier, here’s my story of what made me a DOG! I’m not proud of my past but it has shaped who I am today as a man, husband and father. Oh, by the way I’ve only told this story to my friends from above and my wife, so consider yourself special.

When I was 16 I was king of the hill, at least for awhile anyway. I was a starter on the H.S. Football, Basketball and Baseball teams. The basketball team had just come off winning the State Championships for the first time in 11 years. Man, those days were great. It was a few weeks before our first football game and while we were practicing I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was practicing with the band as they prepared for the first game. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her and I had this feeling in my stomach I’d never had before, reminded me of having butterflies before a big game.

I asked our quarterback, and he informed me that she was a Majorette and a new in coming sophomore to the school. I was kind of confused because until the moment I laid eyes on her the only things that had been on my mind was school and sports, girls were an after thought. For the next couple of weeks I did everything I could to get close to her and after several attempts I succeeded. We began talking on the phone and things kind of took off from there.

After about a month I was hopelessly in Love. I carried her books to class and waited for her after school when I wasn’t traveling to games or practicing. Things went well and we made it through football season. However, we lost our homecoming game and she had asked if I was going to the Homecoming dance? I told her that if we lost I wouldn’t be going, I was very competitive in those days and I hated to lose.  However, when I got home I realized that although we lost I still should not pass up an opportunity to spend some time with my girl.

So after dropping off my dad I jumped back into the car and headed back to the dance. When I arrived I had to locate a parking spot and it took me a little while. When I finally located one I had to walk about two blocks to the school. Once I arrived to the actual school grounds a couple of cars were leaving, one of the cars was a teammate and he stopped to ask why I had returned. When I told him he had this strange look on his face. The he said” Take a good look inside the third car behind me when I pull off, and we’ll talk tomorrow.” With that he was gone, when the third car approached me I looked inside and it was a guy from the band and a girl, they were the only two in the car and she was sitting so close to him she was almost on his lap. She looked up at me and I realized it was my girl!

I was crushed. Unless you’ve been kicked in the stomach by a 250lb running back you could never understand how I felt at that moment. I didn’t know what to do, I went home to see if she would call and explain. She didn’t call that night or the next. I called her, she wasn’t home. I went looking for her and couldn’t find her. I needed answers and I needed them right then. I went to my friend’s house and asked him about the situation.

He told me that it had been going on  for awhile, that the guy in the car was a Senior in the band and he was with her even when I was at practice or traveling with the team. I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t concentrate. My heart ached and I wanted to scream, but for some reason I thought no one would hear me. I didn’t know how to talk to my dad about it and talking to my mom was out of the question. My brother whom was always there to explain things to me about life was away in the Military.

I was screwed. Football season was over and to mask my pain I dived right into basketball. The sad thing was all I could think about was her. Finally, about two weeks later I was in my locker and she walked up to me to ask if we could talk. Looking back now it is kind of funny, I had all these pent up emotions, anger being at the top of the list. However, I loved her so much I couldn’t bring myself to say the things that needed to be said.

I listened to her spin this tale of how her parents and this guys parents were friends. According to her the parents had been trying to hook them up since they were in grade school. She convinced me that the night they were in the car he was only taking her home and that they were attempting to try to convince their parents whom all were at her home waiting for them, that they were a couple so they would leave them alone.

Now I know your next question is the same a mine was. What about me? She had an answer for that too. You see, I came from the wrong side of the tracks and it wouldn’t go over well with them. However, with his help and the families thinking they were an item, it would allow her to spend time with me and they would think she was out with him. I must have been crazy, after all these years I still cannot believe I fell for this shit! But I did.

A few weeks later I discovered that my Father was sick, however as most kids think, your father is the strongest, hardest man you’ve ever seen and he is invincible. My father was going through chemotherapy and everyone assured me he’d be ok, including him. In the mean time I’m still chasing after this girl, whom has me by the heart and is having her way with me. None of her stories are matching and I’m getting more suspicious by the day. Finally, I was setting in drafting class working on a project and I realized that two of the guys in the band were in my class. (It was a big school) Over lunch I asked them about her and her friend. To my amazement, he was a close friend of theirs and the story they told me was no where close to the one I’d gotten from her.

I was really pissed at these new revaluations. My father was rushed to the hospital and I still didn’t know the full magnitude of what was really happening to him. I was so wrapped up with her and her lies I’d pretty much convinced myself that he was going to be ok. My father passed away on Christmas Eve of that year. I cried like I’ve never cried before and I blamed myself for not being there.

They buried him on New Years Eve and those two days stay with me because of these events to this day. I was angry with the world because my father had passed away, but I was angrier with myself because from the time I’d discovered he was sick until the time he expired was approximately three and a half months. Had I not been so caught up behind this female I would have handled the whole situation a whole lot differently. I would have spent more time at home talking with my dad like we used to do before I met her, I would have been there to do things for him like I used to do before I met her.

I couldn’t get over the fact that he was gone and I had wasted so much time and effort on a girl whom didn’t give a shit about me anyway. I lost time that I could have spent with my father, and I’ll never, ever, get back.

As time moved forward and I became more successful in school and particularly in sports I became a big target for women. (I eventually accepted a scholarship to play College Basketball) However, I was damaged goods in the relationship department. I did not and could not trust women I had already determined this. So I made a promise to myself, I would never give my heart to another woman, ever. If she got it, she’d earn it and trust me I was going to make it as difficult as possible. I never wanted to have that feeling in my heart again, where I couldn’t breath, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t sleep because of a woman.

I became a dog that day; I became someone whom the words relationship and commitment was totally erased from my vocabulary. I surrounded myself with beautiful women and I made all of them feel special, but I already knew that they were just there to amuse me until the next one walked by.

Now to recap all that I’ve said here today I think you may understand a little bit more about us as men. We’re not born disrespecting women, hell; I love my Mom and sisters to death. However, with them I was always safe. I could love them unconditionally and never worry about them breaking my heart.

The reason men become dogs is through nurture, something, an event triggers this response as a defense mechanism. Protecting their heart is the only way they can function in a relationship. If you think that this post is B.S., then, try this, all of you know someone who is a dog, right? Sit down with one you feel comfortable with, your brother, cousin, uncle or best friend and ask him this question. “Who hurt you?”

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39 comments on “Why do Men become dogs? Nature vs Nurture

  1. So now that I am dating a dog, how do I possibly get them back to where they were before they became a dog and before they were hurt?

  2. Let me get this straight. Because some cheerleader wanted both to have and to eat her cake, smart, attractive, articulate women who behaved decently as adolescents can’t find men who are willing to commit? Wow. Want to hear what’s most annoying about this concept? Well, I’m going to type it anyway. These high-school harlots are all grown up now and, having tired of the dogs of their own (alleged) making, are swimming in my pool, depleting the supply of available smarties.

  3. Ummm, so how about getting over it now that you’re all grown up? Like women don’t get hurt? I would venture to say women have been hurt a lot more often than men. True, some turn into bitches, but I think the percentage of dogs is a lot higher.

    • This is so true. Women get hurt a LOT, ESPECIALLY by men. That doesn’t seem to pass as an excuse to go and hurt men who had nothing to do with it! Women also have a LOT of trust issues with men, and usually for VERY good reasons- yet if they acted the way a dog did, they would be scrutinized. Getting hurt or not getting what you wanted before doesn’t mean you can go around and screw other people over. Your actions still count and you are still responsible for what you do and how you treat people.

  4. interesting how you shifted the blame from yourself to women.

    so instead of women blaming the “dogs” for the way the “dogs” act, the women should blame other women for making the “dogs” the way they are…?

    here’s a concept…take responsibility for your own actions. just because someone mistreats or “breaks your heart” doesn’t give you a pass to do it to someone else.

  5. At least it’s all over now…thanks for your words of wisdom…Despite what you did in the past, I admire you and what you learned from your experience.

  6. You know I like reading your blog, but I get distracted very easily because it is so damn ard to read it. Why don’t you put in a break every once in a while. Write in paragraphs. It makes reading so much more easier and enjoyable. I find myself always starting to only cross read after the first 30 linesinstead of reading word by word.

    Just felt I had to say this. Even though it has nothing to do with the content, just the style. Other than that I enjoy reading … but I would enjoy it more, if … maybe some readers feel the same.

  7. To Snap Happy – what are you talking about? He writes in paragraphs. I am confused as to why you are not able to read it correctly. It is well written.
    As to the gentleman that wrote this – I am glad you are a man that realized the reason for his behavior. Most men go through their whole lives and aren’t able to understand what made them act the way they do. It means you matured and I’m sure you are a very considerate man now. Be proud of yourself for that.
    As for your grief regarding your dad – My heart goes out to you, and hope you are don’t blame yourself anymore. All kids are like that. I lived through a similar situation, only it involved my brother that was killed. It is a huge wake-up call to teenagers when tragedy happens to us that we feel soooooo extremely guilty for our actions(not being there with them, words that can never be exchanged again, tell them what you really felt). Anyway, time does heal, as we all know, but I hope you don’t beat yourself up still for that. My heart goes out to you. One thing I did learn living through it was NEVER to take your loved ones for granted and TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL!!!!
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    God Bless

  8. the comment written by “blah” is exactly what i was thinking…way to blame women. we’re always the ones who get blamed. we’re either sluts or we’re prudes. there’s no middle ground. we can’t please anyone, nevermind ourselves [and god forbid we put ourselves first, because then we’re considered ‘bitches’]. i think anonymousmale1’s personal experience is unique and different because he lost a parent during a heartbreak and that is just awful and yes, i see how he would be completely scarred for life after losing his father and feeling guilty for not spending time with him and focusing on a girl instead. but for all other ‘dogs’, having a teenage girl break your heart is NOT an excuse to abuse and cheat on every woman they encounter in the future. are you kidding me?!!!! that has to be the dumbest, most immature thing i’ve ever heard of!!! a guy (not the author, but any dog) got his heart broken when he was 15 and he couldn’t get over it, so he decided to cheat on women and treat them like sh-t for the rest of his life??? and not only will he not take responsibility for his actions, but he’ll also SAY IT WAS THE TEENAGE GIRL’S FAULT THAT HE NOW CHEATS ON WOMEN! are you serious?!! absolutely outrageous. i also agree with “blah” on the statement that women get hurt far more often than men do and we GET OVER IT and don’t treat men crappily for other men’s failures and mistreatment of us!! just by the number of dogs out there, we can tell that women are getting hurt far more often than men…yet we continue to be good people and try to hope for a good man to come along. i can’t even continue writing this because it’s such a pathetic excuse for ‘dogs’. if it weren’t so disgusting and infuriating, it’d be laughable

  9. I must say that this is the truth and nothing but the truth!!! I can testify that this is what happens in a dog’s life! I used to be a long-term commitment kind of guy until she shattered my heart after 3 years of dating. From that day I was never the same. Protecting my heart in terms of relationships came first, and I protected it by being never letting my guard down. I still wanted to have fun…so all I wanted was to get girls around me, but never into my heart! Girls this is so true! SO very true!

  10. Hmmmm fully agree with the the above post Girls create the dogs u see today Males cannot cope with rejection well,And in doing so we trigger defense plan “A”Don’t care mode”I currently am in this stage Although instead of being a dog I just laugh at silly females thinking that because they have looks they can have what they want…Oh and since Im sure some female is going to blow up over this …Get over it,You create the problem And this is the product u receive.

    And to the post by “Thinker” It’s a VERY plausible excuse,every girl was a teenager at one time,And it doesnt matter if you were a good girl because 99.9% of the rest of your sex was out their Throwing these decent fellows to the curb…

    A little advice …..Get some morals,some commen sense,And start caring about someone besides yourself.

  11. I’m a female and what anonymousmale1 said is sad but true. I had an on/off relationship over two years with a guy whose ex wife left him for another man after three years of marriage. They’ve been divorced seven years and this guy still hasn’t got over the rejection (men just can’t handle it). He’s a bitter, untrusting DOG. I asked him once why he treats women (myself included) so badly and he admitted it was because he doesn’t ever want to be hurt again. His solution, to self protect is to always keep his guard up so he’ll never fall in love again. It’s sad and pathetic that anyone would choose to spend their life this way. I cut all contact with him but I did learn a valuable lesson from the relationship…woman cannot change dogs into good men. they will not change unless they choose to become the good man God wants them to be.

    • So now im angry ?lol….No I just don’t care anymore, I was just asking why someone always tosses “God” into the “free for all” thinking things will be better….Nope sorry not going to happen,FYI I think you are the pot calling the kettle black…And guess what im sure that guy you dumped is now feeling twice the rejection,As matter of fact I would NEVER do that to someone because I am smart enough to know to not view people as “items of amusement”.And no guys NEVER get over it we simply learn from it, There is bad in each gender but the female’s of today…Nightmare….Btw i have got a “grip”I can live quite fine by myself have since I was 10 and this is reality you are still stuck in fairytale land with “Princess syndrom”……..

  12. Some of the well-intentioned women criticizing the blogger really don’t understand what he’s talking about.

    Context, people. He mentioned he was married, so clearly, he’s been able to get past his past. But he is telling a story as he experienced it and was very honest about a searing experience. Men are taught that, to achieve a higher plane in relationships with women, they should be more considerate and sensitive to women’s past hurts, disappointments, etc. This author’s message to women is the same, but many of you are blaming him for his immaturity. Show me a single person who’s past experiences don’t impact his or her relationships going forward. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
    On information and belief, males and females are both human beings. Both groups are capable of hurting and being hurt, of being emotional victim and victimizer. We therefore both need understanding from each other. You can’t ask men to be more sensitive and then bash them when they reveal their sensitivities.

    By the way, he’s right. Many “dogs” are not born, they’re made. Because they were used or rejected by a fellow human being, sometime in their lives. That’s not an excuse for “doggery,” just a reason why it happens. It’s a cruel, vicious cycle. It hurts dogger and doggees alike. But it’s the truth. Doggone it.

    • Thank you CNC,
      Your comment was very considerate and thoughtful. Many people write comments and they fail to take in all the information that was at their disposal. I am very happy to see that there are still people out there who can actually digest information and comprehend it’s true message. Before anyone assumes that I am being overly critical of my readers comments, let me assure you that I am not. I simply hope that regardless of how they feel about this post or any of my other posts, that they discovered something that can assist them now or in their future relationships. That’s all I ask, and that’s all I will ever ask. Learn something from my mistakes and we will all be happier in the end.

  13. If men are that fragile why are they even allowed to be around girls at an earily age? Even more frightning…why do we allow them to lead?

    This is both laughable and tragic, blaming minor females for bad behavior in grown men. pathetic.

    This totally justifies turning lesbian. *laughs*

  14. Fine, then the same concept applies to her case as well; she must have been hurt from the past and needed to be the school whore to guard her heart and hurt you. Therefore its not her fault, just like you claim its not your fault. Absolutely pathetic and weak if you ask me.

  15. i completely understand the position of the writer. i was used and discarded by a narcissist. i became a bitter, misandric during the aftermath of the experience. it took me a year to fully get over the hurt and disappointment to fuction fully. my disechantment and misandry was gone and i was ready to date again. i decided that you can get over it. but i have learned from it an dhave learnt to live with it. i am stronger now than have ever been and i am not saying you cant get hurt again but this guy has to come good to hurt me. additionally i dont hurt me because of whta he did. i think it is unfair for every man to pay for what one man did to me. i give every guy a fair chance to prove himself.
    thanks for sharing.X

  16. I can appreciate the author’s honesty in this blog. However, I would have to take his explanation one step further and take the blame off young women. Many young men grow up feeling disconnected to their female inner identity. I belive that all males and females have both, yet express one more or less more externally. If the author was more in touch with his feminine inner identity he would not have PROJECTED his hurt, woundedness, and fears on that young girl and countless other women after her. He would have recognized that the young girl who hurt him was a human being capable of making mistakes; sought out young women instead who reflected an honest female identity; and most importantly acknowledged his hurt and anger instead of stuffing it away. You see along with the pain of his father’s death he his supression and DENIAL his inner female, is what lead him to hurt her even further by dismissing and ignoring her (and refelctions of her). I think this is a more universal answer and can be applied to young women as well; only vice versa or even lesbians and gays.

  17. Nicely and honestly written. Thanks.
    I think both men and women find it impossible to recover from first loves. In later life, relationships are often due to shallower reasons than pure love.
    But with maturity, there is an understanding that we can at best expect a human being, not a Prince Charming/Sleeping Beauty. Happily Ever After is possible, but it takes genuine affection and daily effort in understanding the other’s view.

  18. Pingback: THE REASON | callmescandalous

  19. So, now my husband tells me after 18 yrs. of marriage & beautiful children and SEVERAL infidelities (he asked me to remarry him again!) that ALL men just have that need to at least look and yearn but he’s “refraining” himself. I paraphase what he just told me, he confirms and I’m just suppose to idiotically accept that. By the way, his last mittress’s birthday is tomorrow; how convenient to tell me this now. Its a mess! I give up! For the sake of “man”kind, are there any guys who don’t make up all the
    f—–g excuses and actually have a descent mind!

    • that is so hard, i’m sorry that you are dealing with such a difficult situation. I definitely agree with you, the excuses are just pathetic. adults need to take responsibility for their actions- we can try to ‘understand’ all we want, but it doesn’t take away the pain and hurt that their actions cause, and it doesn’t lift responsibility from them.. people should not have to be punished by their partner for someone else’s crime in previous relationships/

  20. If everyone (both men & women) had this mentality, that if someone breaks their hearts, then everyone after that person will pay for it, then there would be a lot of unhappy people and unstable relationships out there. Innocent people should have to pay for other people’s behaviour, it’s just wrong

  21. Lmfao, what a total cop-out, not to mention unoriginal.

    Like we ain’t all heard this one before? Some guy has a bad breakup in puberty and decides that’s a perfectly acceptable excuse to NEVER become an actual grown-ass man? Give me a fucking break.

    Yeah, I ain’t ABOUT to cosign this bull. Own your shit. Until you do, I don’t care how much you’ve “changed”; still ain’t a man yet in my book.

    • These are sad stories, but do you know how many times I’ve had my heart ripped out as a woman–several! I try to love unconditionally and often get screwed for it. Lesson is to keep that heart open. We’ve all been there–men and women.

  22. I think that your obsession with this girls was a purposeful distraction from your Father’s condition. She made you feel better, which was why you refused to see the truth even when you knew it. Your anger over the loss of your father and guilt for not being there with him was misdirected at a real thing – the girl and women afterward. Your trust issue and your shame caused you to behave like a dog. You may have felt that you were getting even with some idea of a loose woman, but you were really depriving yourself of real intimacy due to low self worth, which stemmed from feelings of shame in relation to the loss of your father. Or I could be totally wrong.

  23. my first love broke my heart and stumped on it too. then 2 months later my dad dies. and i was screaming inside. but i dont play games with men. i dont take that hurt and take it out on someone else. there is a healing process, yes.
    three years of being single now. hard to find a man to treat me well. All i run into are dogs. Or i sit back and watch and a lot of men are dogs. Maybe i’m attractive to dogs yes. lol but shit. wag ur tail and roll over before u bark. get to know the girl/guy and perhaps you’ll realize you are either compatible or not compatible before u get ur heart stumped on. dont have sex until you build an emotional bond. sexual attraction is frustrating. i would just like a guy to get to know me, trust, respect, and love. Cant find any. Now must not be the time. Love is patient.

  24. Well, let me start off by saying I believe alot of this to be true. However, what I don’t get is how pinning a whole race of women for one’s stupid mistakes, problems and issues is in any way OKAY? It makes you look ridiculously childish and shows how much growth is needed. The same stands for women as well. If you base 100 relationships off the first one or two, you really need counseling, a journal and maybe even a punching bag. This is why so many get hurt. So don’t try the macho man role because if you were macho (AT ALL) you wouldn’t even be doing this. I mean what makes you think that a good majority of the women you’re creeping on don’t have the same plan in mind, afterall like attracts like. To make a long story short, there just simply is no excuse for scumbags, goto counseling! & I don’t care if you’re a female or a male one, you gotta grow up, and I don’t think waiting till your in your 30’s and losing your hair cause your losing points in the attractive arena counts either. 😉 (only intellectuals comment, thank you!)

  25. Why is it always the womans fault. men are dogs because they choose to be. Its a choice they make. Most single men just want some ass, and married men want young and fresh new ass. Men are leading the world and look were its gotten us nowhere!! Women keep your eyes wide open men are always on the lookout for new ass. cant stand men!!

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