Where to find a good man

I’ve gotten quite a few letters asking the question; “Where can I find a good man? I’ve gotten just as many asking this question in a different manner; Where is the best place to meet good men? I had to think about these questions long and hard, I also had to go out  and do a bit of research to pass along to you ladies who want to know this information.

To begin with I have questions of my own. What type of man (besides a good man) do you seek? What I mean by this is, are you seeking a professional man, such as a Doctor, Lawyer, Accountant, Professor or a Bank President? That’s what you want a Professional? Or would you settle for a good man that’s a Grocery store clerk, a bus boy in a restaurant, a security guard or a garbage man?  It’s up to you.

However, before we get started in this let me make one thing perfectly clear. Regardless of his position or the level he’s on with a company, he’s a professional. If he has a job and he’s getting paid, he’s considered a professional. They do not pay amateurs.

With that out of the way let’s first try to determine what’s considered a good man and how to possibly identify him. From past experience and above that being a man myself I noticed one very distinct difference between myself as a dog and men who weren’t. You know what is was? Men who aren’t dogs keep to themselves. I’d talk to them at work or while playing basketball or some other activity, but if the subject of women came up it was generally me asking why they didn’t have one. Want to know what the number one answer to that question was? Bingo! I haven’t found the right girl yet.

As a dog all women were the right one for me. But for a good man he’s not about to waste his time and energy on  just any woman, he’s looking for the right woman. That’s why you will not see him around town with a different girl every other weekend. That’s too tacky for him.

Now, good men come in all shapes, sizes and colors and while you’re reading this think about who you know that you haven’t paid much attention to that fits this description. He’s generally alone or with family, if he’s with friends generally it’s only one maybe sometimes two. Older women in the neighborhood or work place love him because he’s nice, polite, helpful and genuine. When you talk to him he looks straight into your eyes and actually listens to what you have to say, he never pretends. He will not look you up and down or make you feel uncomfortable and generally when you’re in his company you are at ease because it’s like being with your brother.

If he has a girlfriend he proudly displays her photo on his desk or in his work area. (Dogs never do this because the photo’s would take up too much space and they feel it would mean commitment which could cause them to miss a chance to hit something else in the office) A good man has a hobby, hunting, fishing, bowling, creating websites or photography. This he spends all of his free time doing to fill his time until the right woman comes along.

He doesn’t gossip and wouldn’t dream of telling your personal secrets. He’s probably a little bit homophobic and it’s not that he doesn’t like gay people but he simply does not understand it. He is very  seldom rude and rarely get angry and if he does you would not know it. He’s not flashy, doesn’t waste money and is more likely to drive a American made car, a ford, Chrysler or Pontiac because it shows loyalty to his Country. He probably has a dog or two and he would never own a cat (but he would allow you to if you became a couple).

He may dress nice for work but feels more comfortable wearing jeans and a t-shirt with some cross training shoes that a woman would probably attempt to replace. However he will not because they were expensive and he’s frugal and as with everything else he’s as loyal to them as they’ve been to him over time.

You’ve probably either known him for years or worked beside him for a long time and because he make you feel so comfortable you tell him everythng and he actually listens and gives you a little feedback but very seldom tells you what you should do. Because he knows that you just need to vent and your current boyfriend probably will not listen.

Those of you that have this guy right now in your inner circle probably have never once wondered who he really was as man. However, every time shit hits the fan, he’s the guy you call. You don’t call the man you sleep with, you call the man you take advantage of. Many times women select dogs because of their prowess and reputation as a ladies man. You go into these relationships knowing full well the end results, but somewhere along the line you meet someone whom is real and supports you emotionally and he picks you up when life knocks you down and many times you forget to even say, “Thank You.” Then when you’ve had your fill of your boyfriend, you’ll get a new one whom is really just a carbon copy of the old one. In the beginning when things are going smoothly as they all do in the beginning, you forget about the person whom helped you through the last bad relationship. You don’t call or stop by to say hello because your life is great. However, at the first sign of trouble, what do you do? You call the guy you’ve been to busy for over the last several months and cry on his shoulder.

          And you know what? He lets you. Why? Because he’s a friend and he cares about you and he’s more loyal than you could ever be. That’s because this is what real men do. They possess a trait that dogs could never phantom, loyalty. How many of you have an ex-boyfriend that you are actually friends with? Generally this is because most dogs like my former self will only be friends with you if there are stipulations. That’s right! We want to be friends with benefits or the deal is off. Real men start relationships off as friends and remain friends, forever. 

          Good men are all around you. Each and every one of you either have a guy like this right now in your life or you had one earlier in life. He was the guy whom was more interested carrying you books home from school than trying to feel you up. Your parents loved him but your friends probably convinced you he was a dork, because he wasn’t a jock or student body President. More than that he probably wasn’t popular. However, you felt safe with him then and if he or someone like him is in your circle now you still do. You know he’s really what you’d like your boyfriend to be like and you may have even thought about what it would be like to date him. Then either your friends talked you out of it or you came up with that same old lame excuse women have used for decades to avoid happiness, ” I’m afraid to date him because if it doesn’t work out it might ruin our friendship.” That’s a cop-out and you all know it. Here’s a guy whom you know is nice, works, treats you great, knows everything about you (even your secrets) and still likes you. What more could you ask for? What do you tell your friends and boyfriends about this guy? “Oh, he’s my best friend.”

Hello! One of the most valuable components of a successful relationship is that your mate is your best friend! Whats really great about this is you actually created this perfect situation over time and didn’t even know it.

So now, to answer your question: Where to find a good man? There is no magical place like a good man’s bar and grill. He is right there, either in your office working with you, or in your Rolodex, you have him in your contacts list on your cell phone. Your boyfriend secretly hates him because he too knows that the day you open your eyes to what you have right in front of you, you’re gone.  So you know that friend of yours that your boyfriend consistently refers to as a “Fag”, he’s the one.

So ladies, now that you know where to find him, what’s next? Will you chose to continue seeking love from guys whom want nothing more than to use and abuse you both verbally and physically? Or will you take a closer look at the guy whom has always been there for you even though you’ve not always been there for him? Think about it. Would you like the perception of happiness or true happiness? It’s your choice, I hope you make the right one now that you know. Good Luck!