“12 Things Women do that Assures he will Cheat.”

The question of the day is, “Why do men Cheat?” That is a question that can never correctly be answered. Men cheat for different reasons and although we do think alike, each relationship is different. Therefore answering that question utilizing all men as the target subject is virtually impossible.

To assume all men are cheaters is irresponsible. Many men don’t cheat for whatever reason. Now we all know that the men women like to call dogs cheat, however simply because he cheated once doesn’t necessarily make him a dog. Being a dog takes practice and skills, being an opportunist does not make a man one.

If you really feel the need for a simple answer to this mysterious question to make you feel better then Steve Harvey has a easy one for you. He states that men cheat, “Because they can!”
It sounds good. However before you accept that simple explanation you need to look at it from a different prospective.

If you as a woman control 50% of the relationship and influence 100% of it, what does that statement say about you? Interesting huh?

I chose to approach this subject in a different manner, I don’t have the answer as to why men cheat. I know why I cheated on women, but that’s just me. Every guy I know that I have asked that question to gave me a different answer, only a couple told me that they did because they could. The rest had different reasons altogether.

So since I cannot honestly tell you why they cheat, I figured I’d do the next best thing and tell you the factors that you control that contribute to the possibility of him cheating on you. Some of the things I am going to tell you may hurt, the truth usually does. However, rest assured without pain there is generally no gain to speak of. What I tell you here today may not assist you in your current relationship, but hopefully in your future one you’ll reap some benefit from what you learn today.

Before we move on though, lets first define cheating so that we’re all on the same page, OK?
For the purpose of this post I am going to assume that we will all classify cheating as a man being physically involved (sexually) with a woman other than the one he is in either a married, engaged or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Willingly participating in this situation with disregard to the promises to his so called true love (wife/ fiancee/girlfriend) of being honest and loyal.
Hopefully we all agree to this, or at least we all understand what we feel cheating is?

So lets get started with “12 Things Women do that assures he will Cheat.”

#1) Getting into a relationship and not defining your role:  Too many times do women go out with men on several dates and then sleep with him and not truly know where they stand. She assumes that since you’ve been intimate that they are now a couple. However, he may be thinking that it’s simply two adults taking care of one anothers needs. You have a right to ask him (and not over the phone) if you and he are an item or just friends. Preferable before you jump into bed with him. If you don’t close that loop hole fast he may take the opportunity to pleasure himself somewhere else and you have no recourse because you and he are on different pages. Be an adult and ask, don’t assume anything in a relationship, ask!

#2) Disrespecting yourself:  Men treat you the way you demand to be treated. You set the tone and he as well as other people in society follow your lead. How many of you have worked in a job where the boss yelled and screamed at certain people but avoided that tone with others in the same office? He didn’t scream at those people because they were bad at their job, he did it because they allowed it. The people that he didn’t scream at, it was because they wouldn’t allow it! They had too much pride and respect for themselves to allow someone to disrespect them, including the boss. This respect started the first day they went to work in how they presented themselves, and if not then, it occurred the first time he attempted to disrespect them and they corrected him sternly.
When I look at some women’s My Space pages, Facebook, even Twitter Bios, I see women describing themselves as bitches, whores, players and so on. Why in the world would any self respecting man be attracted to a woman who disrespects herself? He isn’t, which leaves you to select from the men who do not respect themselves or you.
By describing yourself in a loathsome manner, the men reading this will treat you exactly based on your own opinion of yourself. You’ve already described what you think of yourself to the world, why should men treat you any different? Men will not take you seriously and cheating on you will most definitely be an after thought because to him, you really don’t matter. Because even in your description of yourself as a bitch, he will assume that you’ll be just that, a bitch! So of course if he’s good, you’ll be a bitch and if he’s bad you’ll still be a bitch so he has nothing to lose.
I’d suggest you think clearly about describing yourself in a manner that will attract real men and not dogs. However, that’s really up to you.

#3) Listening to your Heart and no one else:  When another female tells you that the guy is a known player (dog) it could be a ploy to keep you from being with him. However, when several women tell you the same thing, it’s fact! He has cheated on women before you and more than likely he’ll cheat on you too. Why fool yourself into thinking that he’ll change just for you? Oh, I know, because you’re special, right? Well guess what, so were the other girls he cheated on.
This is the easiest way to become a member of the “Broken Hearts Club.” Listen to what people are saying about a man you’re interested in, jealousy only goes so far and then truth begins to surface.

#4) Telling your damn business: It’s always said that men tell each other their personal business. No, lets be real, women do it as well and many of you have had your man sleep with your so called girlfriend because of it.
Lets face it, not every man can actually perform sexual marathons. So if you have one of these men it may be wise to keep it to yourself. Especially when some of the girls you call friend is with someone who may last 3-5 minutes on a good day.
Hell men do the same thing, especially when they are not sure if you are a keeper or not. It’s easy to tell, especially when all of the sudden you have one of his friends attempting to be extra friendly with you for no apparent reason.
Once my girlfriends best friend gave me a condom while we were visiting her. The next day she called and informed me that it was for she and I. When it’s that easy it’s hard to say no. She told me later my girlfriend had told her everything I had done to her and she wanted to experience it for herself.

#5) Not making him appreciate everything he has (you): My daughter asked me for a new bike. Being a father it is hard for me to tell he no, so of course I went out and bought her one. I got home with it and I was excited as she was. However, my wife was pissed! She thought my daughter should earn the money to purchase her own bike and she assured me that I would regret denying her the opportunity to do so.
Well, I regret it now! She rode that bike everyday for about a month. I just donated it to charity last week. It sat on the patio for months until the tires became flat and the dust became so that you couldn’t tell what color it was.
Why did this happen? Because since she didn’t earn it herself she didn’t appreciate it. Now her Ipod is totally different. She saved for it, worked for it and you’ll never see her without it and it’s going on a year. Damn, I was stupid!
The moral to this story is this: Anything given without effort will surely not be appreciated and this means you! So think about that when you’ve been with a guy for a couple of weeks, a month and you have that itch to take the next step when you know he really hasn’t earned that right.
Months later while he’s running around sleeping with someone else you’ll feel like that bike I just donated that was discarded on the patio. Then in the middle of the night when he hasn’t came home you’ll be saying what I said, “Damn, I feel stupid!”

#6) Using sex to get what you want from him: Some women although they profess their love for a man have this habit of holding back on the intimate side of the relationship until it fits their needs. There is nothing worse for a man to care about a woman and when you want to make love to them they give you all these excuses. I am not saying these excuses aren’t valid, I am just saying!
However, whenever they want something, the sex instantly becomes available. Oh, I saw some shoes at the mall I would live to have. Or, I am short on my rent or phone bill.
Most men have no problem with assisting the women they care for with finances. However, when sex is based on our bank balances a problem arises. I think some women do this and probably don’t even realise it. Hey, but men realise it, you can bet that!
You can also bet that he’s thought about it and is already making plans to replace your ass with someone a little more compassionate and a lot less expensive. However, most guys believe that you shouldn’t leave a woman until you have a replacement for her. So, yep! He’ll be cheating on you for a little while, so get prepared.

#7) Refusing to acknowledge the obvious:  His words doesn’t match his actions anymore. Things in the relationship have changed while you weren’t looking and you cannot understand why. He goes out and doesn’t call or even ask if you’d like to go with him. He guards his phone with his life and he gets text messages on the regular.
You haven’t been out together in months and you haven’t seen his parents or family members since you first started dating. You don’t talk anymore and he always seem distracted and when his phone rings he looks shocked (because you’re there) and then makes a reason to go out.
Well, he may not have cheated yet but more than likely it’s inevitable. You can stick around if you want to and go through the final phases before your heart is ripped apart. Or you can acknowledge whats going on and confront him. This way you can try to repair the relationship or end it and spare yourself the pain of what is coming.
Either way you should do something because if you do nothing it’ll only get worse. He may not have done anything yet, it could be in the planning stages. He may think you simply do not care anymore because it didn’t happen overnight and you remained quiet. Say something and hopefully he’ll snap out of it and remember he loves you and only you!

#8) Not paying attention to his friends:  We’ve all heard this, “Birds of a Feather”, right? If he’s your man and he has friends that are known dogs, you may have a problem. Especially if he spends a great deal of time with them. He may resist for awhile but if you drip water on a rock for a great deal of time, eventually the rock will crumble. Don’t tell him he cannot spend time with them, however it may be wise to attempt to limit the amount of time if possible. Particularly if he spends time with them and doesn’t invite you each and every time. Why should your man be out with them around woman you have no idea who they are and you cannot be there to speak on his behalf as well as your own?
# 9) Failing to take care of his sexual needs:  It’s frustrating to be with a woman whose sexual drive doesn’t match my own. That “I have a headache” B.S. only goes so far with men and then masturbating becomes ineffective after awhile. Sometimes it simply wasn’t meant to be and this is a sure fire way to be cheated on. He may love you for who you are however his needs are greater than yours and it’s inevitable that eventually he’ll find release elsewhere. It amazes me that women fall into this situation. When you first begin making love it’s constant and once real love is established it’s gone. What, you guys think we only wanted to make love that much because the relationship was new?

#10) Being too modest during sex:  Hey, I draw the line at anything that causes pain. However, there are things that men like to do and if you will not do it, there’s a shit load of women who will.
I’ve known women who didn’t like oral, giving or receiving. I liked them but not enough to spend my whole life with so I moved on.
You want to know what men’s fascination with prostitutes is? Because if you pay the money you can do anything you like, anything you’d like to try. Then her ass leaves with no emotional ties what so ever until the next time.
Also, sex is too much fun to be serious! Look at the faces we make during the act. It’s enough to make you want to laugh. So if he wants you to dress up like a school girl or get butt naked with nothing on but a pair of red socks, do it, he’ll be happier and so will you. It’ll also make him stay home and out of trouble.

#11) Having a male or female friend that makes your man uncomfortable:  We all have friends prior to starting a new relationship do we all agree on this? However, when you have a male or female close friend that makes your mate uncomfortable it could cause him to stray. How so, I am sure you’re thinking?
Well, sometimes you may have a male friend that you have been friends with for years. Hell, he could even be an ex-boyfriend for all your new man knows. When asked about it, if you don’t properly describe the nature of that friendship it will lead to more questions then answers that you have. If done incorrectly your new man will never accept your response regardless of how truthful you may have been. For whatever reason most men are intimidated by the thought that their woman has a male best friend. There is simply not enough room for two men in your life. That’s the way men think, also I am sure that if your male friend has a girlfriend, she’s thinking the exact same way as your boyfriend.
Female friends are different. I know we all refer to the same saying about friends: “A friend is a person who knows everything about you, and loves you anyway.” You’ve heard that saying right? You’ve also heard the one I stated earlier in the post, “Birds of a feather, flock together.” Well, if your female friend has a reputation for being, how shall I say, loose, then your values could be questioned. You know how people like to talk, right? It’s sad,, but that’s life.
It only takes one sorry ass person to make a false statement that links you and her to doing something your man may not approve of to start the ball rolling.
Once he’s not comfortable anymore and becomes insecure in the relationship, cheating is unfortunately a possibility.
So think about your current friendships and make sure you define each male and female friends so that your man understands the roles they have in your life and make sure your friends understand your mans roll as well, so there are no misunderstandings.
#12) Gossiping:  Its unfair to say that all women gossip, because we all know that men gossip just as much and this phenomenon has nothing to do with gender. Bored people tend to do it because they have nothing better to do. Some people do it because it gives them an identity, they want to be the person that seems to know it all.
Unfortunately for you, if you gossip, the signal you’re sending to your man is that your relationship with him is boring. If you’re so engrossed in other folks business you’re really not paying much attention to or tending to your own.
Chances are your man will become bored and frustrated with your meddling in other peoples affairs and the drama that comes with it. Not to mention that eventually some gossip will return about you placing an unfavorable light on you. This gossip may be true or not, but at this point to your man it probably doesn’t matter after awhile.
Another thing that happens is that some of the females that you like to gossip about so much will eventually and unfairly target your man in an attempt to get back at you. He may fall for this tactic, and he may not but it will not matter because it’ll come back as he did just to spite you for gossiping too much.
So tend your own garden and leave other peoples alone and not only will your man be happy, but you as well.

These are just some of the reasons that men cheat on women. Like I said earlier there is not one simple reason that men stray, it’s a multitude of reasons that can cause this to happen. The ones above are just to give you a small glimpse of what to look for in your own relationship and possibly change it before it becomes a problem.
Hopefully, you’re keeping him content and busy with you leaving him no time to wonder anywhere else. A friend once told me, “Smart women take up all of their men’s free time. Therefore eliminating the possibility or need for him to stray.” Be a smart woman and you’ll both be happier in the end.

 

20+ Questions with Anonymousmale1

I’ve been writing this blog for over a year and in the process I have met and assisted a large amount of women from around the world. Recently I had a young lady write and ask me several questions about myself and although I couldn’t answer them all (security reasons), I answered as best I could.

This made me think, there had to be questions that other women had about Anonymousmale1 that they would like answered so they could get a better understanding about the man behind the name.

After mulling it over, I determined that it was only fair to allow a glimpse of who I am as a person and why I feel and think the way I do. I thought it would be unfair to simply write questions and then answer them myself, this way wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone but me. I felt it would be best served to allow women to send me questions and I would answer them as honestly as possible.

So, I asked several of my readers whom I have the privilege to also call friends, to send me questions that they would like to know the answers to. Several sent me a list of their questions and for my post today I will be answering one writers questions for you all to read.

If you as a reader have any questions you would like to have posted and answered here, by all means send them to me and I’ll make it happen.

Todays questions are compliments of the beautiful young woman on the left who hosts a blog of her own. Her name is Courtney and you can follow her by going to http://www.courtneysit.blogspot.com/ So please stop by and check her blog out and say hello.

So now, lets play 20+ questions with Anonymousmale1!

Read entire post at www.anonymousmale2.blogspot.com

 

10 Things to help you get over your Broken Heart

Weekly I get e-mails from around the globe and recently I noticed a spike in the topic of being heartbroken. Going through heartbreak is one of the most excruciating things anyone has ever had to go through and regardless of if it’s your first time or 5th time, it still hurts like hell. I was once told that there are things worse than death, being in love with someone who no longer loves you is one of those things.

 

There is not much anyone can say to make things better, the pain remains and the only real cure is time. One of the main reasons I continue to write this blog is to load women with as much information as possible about men, hoping that you will be able to identify, respond, and adjust to any changes he may attempt to put you through before it begins. Hopefully this way, you can either correct the behavior or get out with your heart intact or at the least lessen the pain because you were able to end the relationship on your own terms.

 

I’ve suffered heartbreaks, (yes, men get hurt too) we generally don’t show it as much as women. We tend to suffer in silence. So for any of you ladies that are going through this right at this moment I understand your pain and anguish.

 

I know what it is like to feel as though you cannot breath, to want to scream at the top of your lungs, but you feel no one will hear you. I’ve been there, days when I couldn’t eat or sleep, when every little…read entire post here www.anonymousmale2.blogspot.com

 

Why It’s Important for him to Earn your Love

Find it by clicking on link

http://anonymousmale2.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-its-important-for-him-to-earn-your.html

 

Letter From Anonymousmale1

Today we had our 25,000 visitor. It’s a blessed day and a sad one. This is the final post that will be placed on this site. You ladies have been great and I cannot thank you enough. The response to this blog has been incredible and I could not have done it with out the assistance of the readers such as you.

For those of you that have been with me since the begining know that I stated in my very first post that this blog would expire on 2-6-09. I had planned to do just that however many of you requested that I reconsider and I did this just for you.

Now it’s time to say goodbye to this site. As I informed you two posts earlier, all the material posted here has been placed in book form and will be soon in stores near you. The new site is coming along fine ( www.anonymousmale1.com ) and I look forward to the day it officially launches which should be in May.

As I’ve stated all monies from the sale of the book for the first year from the website will be donated to a Charity. I asked for you ladies to select one that you felt would be appropriate and one strong reader wrote me a compelling suggestion and I’ve agreed to it. Instead of selling the book on the site, it can be purchased for the donation of the purchasers choice. The donations will then be just that, a donation.

The writer also convinced me of a truly worthy cause to donate the proceeds too. The donations will go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation, www.nationalbreastcancer.org/ , you may also go there and make contributions.

Now, before I wrap this up please let me give my faithful readers some good news. The first item is that although in the next week or so all materials (previous posts) will be removed from this site, the site will remain and new posts will be done via links. These links will direct you to my new site, that’s right! You didn’t really think I would abandon you, did you? No, the new site is located at www.anonymousmale2.blogspot.com and there I will have all new posts and I will continue to attempt to assist you in finding a worthy mate. We still have work to do and I hate unfinished business, don’t you?

Now, before I leave lets take a test, shall we? Look at the picture below and tell me, “How does this photo relate to going on a first date?” If you’ve been a regular visitor of this site this should be easy for you. If this is your first visit don’t worry, you’ll learn. Then to submit your answer, simply drop me a note at anonymousmalewv@gmail.com I will get back to you and let you know how you did. Also you can find the post that will explain what you should see and how this relates to a first date at www.anonymousmale2.blogspot.com .

What do you See..............

Thanks again ladies, see you at www.anonymousmale2.blogspot.com or you can follow and interact with me at http://twitter.com/Anonymousmale1.

 

How to Identify Selfish men before it’s too late.

For JuJu:

I received a note from a reader today and hopefully she doesn’t mind that I share the topic with  you other ladies whom may be wondering the same thing. So thanks to JuJu, today’s post is about “How to identify Selfish Men before it’s too late.”

I love women, I really do. When she is in love with a man she’ll do almost anything to please him, to include overlooking the obvious. In this instance the obvious is that he’s selfish as hell and he thinks that the world revolves around him. In his small mind he feels that it is a privilege for you to be with him. The crazy thing about this scenario is that you reinforce this thought process by continuing to overlook the obvious, he’s really only into himself.

How many of you have girlfriends with boyfriends like this? Or better yet, how many of you have had men like this in the past or currently? The guy who expects so much of you and gives only what he wants in return. Generally, he’ll do things for you only to get something in return. I am afraid most of you have that man now, you probably have just chosen to ignore it and overlook the obvious.

These are men whom expect you to do things like clean the apartment, wash his clothes, make him dinner, make love to him when you are tired, take care of him when he is sick and if you have children together, he expects you to raise them with little input or help from him.

Whatever happened to a 50/50 relationship? One where he does the same or more for you, does that exist anymore? I say they do, and if you are not in a relationship that is 50/50 right now, then you are doing yourself a great injustice and wasting away your youth and beauty on someone who possibly will never change. At least not for you. He may learn a valuable lesson when your gone, if he does that’s a good thing but the next woman he is with will be the one who benefits from your suffering.

Most men learn their lesson when the woman they’re currently with is gone and he finally realizes exactly how much he actually loved her. We’ve all heard the expression, “You don’t know what you have, until it’s gone”, right? In order to ensure that we don’t meet that same fate and suffer heartbreak again (yes, men suffer heartbreak too) we learn as much as possible from our last relationship and attempt to change. Now it may take three or four break-ups for us to get it right, but eventually we get it.

Now as for the guys whom haven’t learned this important lesson, currently they are in relationships with women (or girls) who as I stated above overlook the obvious, for now. For those of you who have been through relationship blues with selfish men and seek desperately to avoid this situation in the future I’ve created a list (Thanks to JuJu) to help you identify and hopefully avoid men who are selfish and not ready to change. For those men that haven’t changed yet, you may want to bypass him for now because he’s still a work in progress.

When first going out with a man in an attempt “to determine if it may become something more, here are somethings you should look for and their abscence should be noted and carefully scrutinized later.

1) Does he talk about himself constantly as if he’s trying to impress you?

If he does it’s not only you, he probably talks to everyone about himself. This could be because that’s all he knows about and/or cares about. In the end though he’s probably just like a commercial, you know the ones where they try to make a product look better than what the actual product really is.

2) When you got into his car or walked up to a door, did he open it for you?

I know that some women want to be treated as equal, but men opening doors is a very good sign that he is showing respect, courtesy and appreciation. From the time I was able to walk my Grandfather instructed me that I should always open doors for women, all women. When I asked him about this practice when I was older, I was told that women deserve to have doors opened and chairs pulled out for them because they do so much for men and this is a sign that you appreciate them for all they do.

3) Does he bring you lunch or dinner to your work place to ensure you have eaten when he knows you are busy? Do you have to ask, or does he volunteer to do it?

Women do this for men all the time. Why shouldn’t a man return the favor? He should and it is required if he is not selfish. You shouldn’t even have to ask, he should do this without question. the 50/50 rule is that whatever you do for him, he should be willing to do for you and more. So if you’ve been with a man for awhile, ask yourself, “How many times has he brought me something to eat at work without my asking?”

4) Does he go out of his way to make sure you are safe and secure?

Would he drive to your work place late at night just to walk you to your car to make sure you are safe? Does he ask you before hanging up after a late night talk,” Are the doors and windows secure?” If he does these things it’s because he cares and you are important to him. He puts your well being ahead of his own which shows total unselfishness.

5) Does he ask for your opinion consistently and follow your advice on important matters? Or does he make all the decisions in the relationship?

Only a selfish person would make a decision for two people that effects them both without consulting the other for their input. So if he goes out and makes a large purchase without discussing it with you, he’s selfish.

6) Does he know when you are tired, frustrated, happy, or sick without you having to tell him?

If he cannot tell what your mental or physical condition is on site then he’s really not paying enough attention to you. He should pick up on all of these quickly. You should never have to tell him that you are not feeling well, he should know. I bet you know when he’s under the weather without asking and you adjust accordingly, right. Selfish people are only aware of how they feel and they overlook problems or issues that effect everyone else.

7) Does he get an attitude or attempt to make you feel guilty if you say you have a headache or are too tired to make love to him?

Women and men differ when it comes to sex. As one person stated, women sometimes need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. If he cannot understand that you’re tired and respect this for what it is, it’s because he’s selfish and only concerned with his own needs.

Would he cancel plans to go to a sporting event with friends just because you had the flu?

A unselfish man would and he would expect his friends to understand. If you’re ill he’ll want to be there to take care of you just like the 50/50 rule implies. In the event you could get an unselfish man to actually go to the game anyway, he wouldn’t be happy about it and he’d be calling you every 30 minutes or so to see if he needs to come home. A selfish man won’t call and when he comes home he’ll expect you to get up and make him something to eat because he probably drank too much.

9) Does he love his car or motorcycle more than you?

Ever have that boyfriend who has a car that even though you two live together he will not let you drive? He has to wash it every week and vacuum it out and tells you to wipe your feet before getting in? Ever had a man like that? That’s the guy who will park on the other side of the parking lot late at night so no one dings his door on this machine, then tells you to walk across a darkly lit parking garage on the wrong side of town while he stays with the car to ensure it’s safety. No concerns about you during this time, only that damn car or motorcycle. He’s selfish ladies! I don’t care how much he paid for it, he should be concerned about you that much and not a machine.

10) Will he accompany you to do something you like to do (even though it’s something men necessarily don’t do) just to be able to spend more time with you?

In every relationship there are things that the other does not like to do. I once had a girlfriend who love going to plays. I hated it, but by going it allowed me some extra time to spend with her and it was well worth it. In the end I began to like going because it made her happy and I was just happy to be with her. To be able to do this, I had to be unselfish, if not, I would have been selfish in trying to dictate to her the places I would accompany her. Most men don’t like to go shopping, a selfish man will not go with you to buy your clothes. An unselfish one will not only accompany you, but will assist in the selection of items he would like to see you wear.  Every man wants to go shopping when you’re going to Victoria Secret. How about the man who will go shopping with you just to be able to spend extra time with you?

There is nothing more important to a man than when his woman shows a act of total unselfishness, like arrive on his job with a nice meal unexpectedly or to forgo plans she’d made months in advance simply because he wasn’t feeling well. Isn’t it time men returned the favor?  I think so too. You ladies deserve this type of unselfish acts too, no, you’ve earned it and rightly so.

So now, just in case I missed something in the paragraphs above let me make it clear that any man whom takes advantage of you in any manner is selfish.

He is only thinking of himself if you are not his only woman, if he doesn’t properly take care of you, if he doesn’t give you the proper amount of attention, if he leaves you unsatisfied after love making and doesn’t work to correct it properly. He’s selfish if he puts anything or anyone before you if you are his true love as he says. If he will not miss a night at the bar with friends to take you to the movies, he’s selfish. If he cannot commit to just you and he, he’s selfish. If he only comes to see you when he wants something, he’s selfish. In short, if he doesn’t treat you the same way he expects to be treated by you, then he my dear is selfish.

Now the only thing left to be asked is this, “Are you selfish to expect a man to do those things that a unselfish man will do for you?” Damn right, you’re selfish but as a woman you can be, because you’ve earned this right.

 

“Eavesdropping in the Boys Club” The Book…

After writing this blog for a complete year I received countless letters from women worldwide and it amazed me that many of you thought that I should write a book on this blog. So as not to disappoint you it is being done. What we decided is this, we’re taking the best posts from the blog, adding five never before published posts and then capping it off with real letters and comments from many of you. (Please be advised, your names or identities will not be published to protect your privacy)If any of you that have written to me are uncomfortable with me including your letters in this book, please contact me and request it not be included and I will respect your wishes.

On another note, the proceeds from the book for the first year of it’s publishing will be a charity recommended by a reader of this blog. Thats right, one of you will be selecting where the profits will go, so be on the lookout for the contest in future posts.

“This book is dedicated to all of you who have visited, left your mark on the blog and my life. For this I am indebted to you…….Thank you.”

If you have written to me requesting advice on this blog or submitted a comment please send me a e-mail requesting a copy of the e-book version and I will send it to you. I would love for you to give me your opinion on it before I make it public. This is an open offer to only those that wrote comments or letters before 02-14-09.

Thank you all,

 

Anonymousmale1

 

10 Reasons women get hurt in relationships

Happy New Year! I hope many of you had a very good New year and are excited about the prospects of 2009 as I am.  The New Year is a great time to reflect on your life and to attempt to put things into perspective.  The holiday season is a horrible time to find out that your significant other is a complete ass or worse yet unfaithful. Unfortunately it happens all to often and it will continue to happen until either men grow up or women become more selective in whom they chose to get involved with.

Since neither of these things are going to happen in the near future I figured for your New years gift I would give you “Ten reasons women get hurt in relationships.” It may not be much but hopefully this time next year at least one of you may be able to say that because you knew these things you avoided getting your heart broken. 

1) Listening to their heart and ignoring their brain:

Women have a very bad habit of doing this. They see all the signs that he is full of shit but they “Love” him so they overlook the obvious. Friends tell you to move on, family tell you the same and you just cannot see it because your heart is in the way. The crazy thing about this is that as humans we do the following: when things are going bad we confide in our best friends. We tell our friends what we really think about our significant others, especially when we are frustrated. During this time our real feelings come out and the friend hears it all. Later, when things get really bad the friend regurgitates everything you said about him and you don’t hear them. You pass it off and say, “You don’t really know him.” Well guess what? All she did was tell you exactly what you said about him in one of your moments of clarity, a moment when your heart wasn’t in the way and although it came from her mouth this time it’s actually you, telling yourself that he’s no good. So the next time this happens, please listen to yourself and save your heart from the break it’s sure to suffer unless you get it out out of the way and let your brain take over.

2) Failing to make sure his actions match his words:

Women overlook the obvious and many times you only hear what you want to hear. He tells you he loves you, but you really need to know is he really in love with you. There is a very big difference in the two. He may love his dog, his brand new car or the upscale apartment he just leased. However, he’s sleeping with none of these things and if he’s showing them more attention than he is you his “I love you” is just that. The problem is he really isn’t “in Love with you” which is what is really needed to make a serious relationship last.

Lets look at it this way, if he tells you he loves you but rarely makes time for you opting rather to spend times with his friends then his I love you statement should have been “I like you” because that’s pretty much what it means.

If he doesn’t open doors for you, carry things for you, fix things for you, consistently make sure you’re satisfied both in and out of bed, chances are he’s really not in love with you even though he says that he loves you. If you are not his first priority then he is not in love with you. However that doesn’t mean you cannot get there, it just means that there is a chance that when he does reach this point, you may no longer be in love with him. Life is funny this way, we generally discover we are in love with someone when it’s too late. Love is consistency, it’s not whenever we choose, it always or not at all.

3) Dating men that they think they can change:

You know that guy that you are attracted to, the one who has no job, lives with his parents and been to jail several times? Yeah him! Or the other one who has kids by a couple of women but claims none of them and makes a part time living by being a street pharmacist (drug dealer), him too. Also, the guy who has been known for slapping his former girlfriends around to keep them in line from time to time. This guy too. Lastly the dreamy guy who you and your girfriends think has the cute ass and you all know he has countless girlfriends in the city.

These are just a few of the men that you cannot change! Let me say that again in case you missed it or only heard what you wanted to read in that sentence. You cannot change these guys! So to save yourself a heartbreak, do not waste your time or you will probably end up like the women they dated before you frustrated, angry, hurt and miserable.

When these men chose to change on their own then you could end up with a nice man. However, it’s really up to them, there is nothing you personally can do to repair their flaws. Your beauty, sexuality, intelligence and kindness mean nothing to them because generally at this point in their lives they consume everything in their path (and this includes you if you allow it) until the day they wake up and looking back at the wake they left behind seek to change on their own.

If you attempt such a mission to change such a person, I hope you remember this: Many women before you have attempted this such task and in the end they’ve been left as single mothers, financial and emotional bankruptcy, and some even have been given prison sentences. Not to mention the ones whom have been physically and mentally damaged all for the sake of trying to change a man whom did not want to change.

Find a man who has his own self together, a man who respects himself will find it much easier to respect someone as loving as you.

4) Unable to recognize the differences between sex and love:

Women have the same needs, wants and desires as men. Unfortunately men are able to separate sex and love in their minds. For men sex at times is simply a release an enjoyable one at that and to be honest at times it doesn’t matter if it’s you or your girlfriend that assists in him obtaining that release.

A man going into the situation has already calculated out that approximately 45 seconds after ejaculation he will either regret his decision or embrace it. To determine if you are a decision he regretted you will know if he cuddles with you after the act. If he gets up, cleans or doesn’t clean himself as he makes his way toward the door then it was simply a release and you got an assist for the night. Hopefully you received an orgasm too for your troubles.

Having sex with a man will not make him love you, and women have been falling for this trick for centuries. He loves with his head first (the one on his shoulders) and his heart second. If he see an opportunity to have sex with you because you have made it known that you really like him, he may take the opportunity to achieve a release but in the end that’s all it is. What most women fail to understand is that when you make yourself readily available to the whims of a man you fancy he cannot respect you because his real fear is that he is not the first or the last that you’ve slept with simply because you thought you liked the way he looked or carried himself.

To end this let me say this, men look upon women who use sex to achieve love as nothing more than another pretty face on a piece of  p—y! Sorry for that vivid description, but men talk in case you didn’t know.

So whatever you do, always remember sex and love are totally separate emotions. Just because you allowed him the opportunity to take a roll in the hay, does not constitute that he’s going to fall in love with you. It’s simply a chance you took and one that more than likely you’ll lose.

 5) Refusal to change your selection process:

I was once told that the definition of insanity is when you repeat the same mistake over and over again and expect a different result. Some women do this consistently in their selection of men. They are attracted to certain characteristics and they seek this in the men they chose. That’s OK, if it works but what about when it doesn’t? How many of these same men are you going to chose before you see that it’s insane to stay on that same path?

I have a friend like this. I’ve known her for over ten years and in that time period she’s had five boyfriends and I met every single one of them. Finally, I asked her didn’t she realise that all of them were the same. The only change was their names, hair colors, eyes, and physical characteristics. Their mentality on the other hand was simply the same, hell they actually could have been carbon copies of one another. They all acted and did the exact same things to her before ultimately leaving her for someone else.

She was so caught up in them that she hadn’t even noticed. After her last break-up I went to see her and she was distraught as she had been before. I took her to dinner and pretended I was listening to her as she went on about how she couldn’t believe the relationship was over. I’d heard this from her before and I had pretty much memorized it by heart.

After a few weeks when she was getting over the break-up I took her to dinner again and this time I took over the conversation and I pointed out the obvious to me and everyone else that knew her. These men were all the same, it was as if she’d cloned them. I left that dinner that night with a promise from her that if she decided to date again she’d look for someone entirely different as a suitable mate.

Approximately nine months later she called me and asked me out to dinner, since I had been out of the county for awhile it was great to hear her voice and the opportunity to see an old friend was exciting. I arrived at the restaurant and was directed by the host to the table where she was waiting for me. We exchanged pleasantries and I noticed that instead of two dinner setting there were three. Of course I asked and she broke out in the biggest grin I had seen on her in years, she was truly happy. A few minutes later a guy strolled over and sat at the table. He was as far apart from her previous selections as she could get and I don’t want to go into details here because she reads this blog. However, he was genuinely nice, respectful, professional, caring, classy and he was heads over hills in love with her.

That was three years ago, they were married a month later and today they have two beautiful children, a very nice home and she is ecstatic to this day. I’m very happy for her and very proud that she had the courage to see where her problem with men was and change it. In the end I’m sure she’ll tell you it was the easiest and hardest decision see ever made, but had she made it earlier she could have saved herself many heart breaks from men whom meant her no good.

6) Being too forgiving:

To forgive is divine. To continue forgiving when the pattern of lying, cheating, stealing and abuse does not change is insane. We all hope that our significant other will change and become the person we know that they can truly be. However, there is a point we we need to realise that they will not change and the situation for us to continue to forgive is becoming unhealthy.

Each situation is different, but we as adults need to be able to look at our mates actions and grade them honestly. If the future looks more like the past then it’s time to move on. Spending your nights laying in bed crying yourself to sleep, or being unable to eat because of the actions of someone whom professes their love for you is not worth the heartache you suffer.

Being able to forgive is noble, but you must determine exactly how much you will endure before you call it quits and move on. When you move on you can forgive him one more time for all he put you through, and then find someone who will appreciate you for the beautiful woman you are.

7) Putting him on a pedestal:

Men are just that, Men! They are not Gods all though at times they pretend to be. They are flawed individuals as all of us are and you need to recognize this and accept it. He may be the king of the hill today and life could deal him a harsh blow tomorrow and you have no clue how he will respond to it.

Many men whom have been thought to be strong have shown weakness in times of turmoil. People react in different ways to stress and the everyday frustrations of life.

Keep your man real, do not put him on a pedestal and he can never disappoint you. Never ever respect, love or cherish any man more than you respect, love or cherish yourself. The way he treats you is a direct reflection of the way you feel about and treat yourself. Show love and respect for yourself and others will do the same. Disrespect yourself and so will others.

Not recognizing the relationship is over:

Sometimes we hang on too long to relationships that are dying or is already dead. It amazes me when people are shocked to find out that their boyfriend or girlfriend now has a new mate. I always wonder, how could they have not known this?

When your significant other begins to change to a point where you no longer recognize them as the person you love, it’s over. When they start treating you badly and you’re not sure if they still love you anymore, it’s over. When they start putting others before you, it’s over!

When a once trustworthy man starts to tell you lies to cover times and dates, it is over! You know exactly what your relationship was like when you first began. Time will most definitely change it some. However, when these changes become very drastic in nature and you’re not sure what the hell is going on your relationship is dying right before your eyes.

Relationships run a course, some longer than others and it’s nothing wrong with terminating one. Women however at times have a hard time accepting the fact that the relationship failed. Many times you guys blame yourselves that it didn’t work, but you have to remember it takes two willing adults to to make a happy, successful relationship last.

You cannot have enough love for both of you to keep it afloat, there has to be participation on his part as well. When he changes and you don’t know what to do to bring him back to being the man you fell in love with, remember this, he wanted to change and that’s what he did. The chances of him changing back are slim to none but instead of asking him what is wrong (which he’ll call nagging) try discovering what it was that he changed for by watching him a little more careful.

To save yourself from more heartache, trying planning for your future without him. Remember you should love yourself more than you love him anyway and your happiness is paramount. He cannot make you happy, only you can. So start thinking about how bright your future is going to be, with or without him and then start planning for it.

It’s sad when two people once in love remain in a dead relationship because neither want to admit that one or both of them have changed. So, become the adult that you are supposed to be and if the relationship is dead let him know how you feel and tell him you understand and it’s OK to let go. Both of you will be happier in the end. But by denying the obvious you’re setting yourself up for serious heartache in the future.

9) Loving blindly:

Do you have one of those friends who has a boyfriend who convinces her to do all these things that you thought she’s never do? Hopefully that is not you as well. Some men are blessed with the gift of gab and they can talk you into any and everything.

The sad thing is that women do these things because they profess their love for these men blindly. They get so caught up in the men themselves that they would do anything to please him. They will do anything to be in his presence and this is not good in any manner.

I’ve seen women be talked into allowing these men to take nude photos of them, participate in deviant sexual practices, take and sell drugs and much much more. All this for a man whom could and would never love her anywhere near the amount he loves himself and she on the other hand is no more than a toy for him to amuse himself with until the next one comes along.

Young women are really susceptible to this issue. I cannot count the times in the past that I’ve had to arrest some young girl whom allowed her no good boyfriend to talk her into stealing merchandise and cash from her employer. While in college I remember girls whom and I resent this now that we called jock flies, they would do anything to hang out with basketball players, football players and most of it was degrading. All this simply because he told her those three little words which he never ever meant, “I love you”, and if you love me you’ll do this for me.

Love is not meant to be tested in this manner and any man who requests you to do anything to profess your love for him is first insecure and secondly, probably doesn’t have real love for you. he’s simply attempting to determine at what level you are in love with him and how deep you will go to be with him, leaving self respect, dignity and reasoning behind.

Don’t be blinded by your emotions, if you have to struggle with your faith, beliefs and upbringing while contemplating a request by him then he is definately not the one and it’s time to move on. Be smart and protect yourself, you’ll be glad you did.

10) Believing he will leave his current relationship for you:

It’s amazing that still today women get involved with men whom are either married or in a current relationship and they believe what these men say. Get real! If he’s not man enough to get out of his so called miserable relationship before he met you what the hell makes you think that he will do it for you?

These relationships go on everywhere for months, years even and women still do not get it.  He’s not leaving anyone for you, why should he? Chances are you are already sleeping with him and he has no real motivation to terminate his marriage or relationship to someone else because now you’re hooked.

If you press him on the issue he will give you every excuse in the book about why now it’s not the right time. He’ll promise, but really he ’s actually just buying time because he knows that you are in love with him and over the next few days you’ll forget about it and things will go back to normal, him using you for sex and or cash.

You cannot win in this arrangement, everything is stacked against you and the prize you seek is really not a prize it’s a life of B.S.  If for any reason he did leave her after being with you how in the world could you actually trust him, ever! If he is doing this to his current spouse/girlfriend what the hell makes you think you will not be a victim too?

This is not new, it’s been going on forever and it’s no different than being a friend with benifits. He of course is the one who’s benifiting. You on the other hand are the sucker of the year. People talk about you behind your back, other men don’t respect you because they view it as you’re the woman/girl who will sleep with anyone. Why? Because you don’t have enough respect for yourself to find a man of your own, you needed someone elses.

In the end you feel like a idiot, especially after he comes to your place, has sex with you (not love because it’s not really there) and then leaves to go home to his wife or real girlfriend. You on the other hand are left alone with nothing but your conscience an empty apartment and an assortment of new lies that he has spun to keep you hopeful.

Men whom cheat on their wives and girlfriends will cheat on you too! Remember that, so even if you just so happen to have a man whom finally leaves his wife or girlfriend for you, can you really trust him?

Conclusion:

Hopefully these ten items will help some of you and if none of these apply to you then do me a favor and send this to a girlfriend who may need it to assist her. Hopefully between us we can educate someone and keep them from getting their heart broken. Thank you.

 

How to Tell if he is really interested

Dating isn’t as hard as we make it out to be. Our biggest problem is that men and women really think differently, I mean really, we’re at most times miles apart in our thought process. Men, and I use this term loosely have this idiotic idea that women can get a date or man anytime she chooses. In reality, you women really can, however to do so you’d have to lower your standards and women whom respect themselves would never consider this as a viable way to get a mate.

Women on the other hand think that most men are dogs and they’ll go out with anyone in order to quench their thirst for sex. In the real world I think women would be shcked to know that most men are actually somewhat shy and unsure of exactly how to proceed with asking you out. Men seriously fear rejection and if their very young, they have this very real fear that if he asks you out and you say no, you may just tell all of your friends and he’ll become the butt of all jokes in the community. It happens, and this causes serious consequences in his confidence for years to come.

This post is to allow you as women to be able to identify the signals to let you know if he is really interested (as if you don’t already know). I’ve said this many times over the years and some men still don’t believe me, “Women know everything!” You guys just chose to act as if you don’t know as a way to determine if the suitor is mature enough or shall I say man enough to convince you that he can be a solid provider for you and any future off spring, if it goes that far.

Now, I could make this a really short post by simply telling you that if you’re not surehe’s interested, then just ask! However, unfortunately some of you too lack the confidence and/or experience to be that direct to get what you want. So we’ll take it by the numbers for those of you are not sure.

1) He constantly stares at you, but when you look he turns his eyes away.

Answer: Yep, he’s smitten and you are absolutely right he thinks you are beautiful. However, he’s probably shy and if you’re interested in him as well, take the lead and make conversation with him.

2) He’s always polite and helpful to you and goes out of his way to assist you.

Answer: Take a step back and see how he interacts with other women. If it’s only you that he goes far and beyond in his attempts to be helpful to, then you’re the one. If it’s every woman, regardless of age or race then it’s probably his upbringing which means you may want to get to know him anyway.

3) You and he are always arguing about everything even though you’re simply friends.

Answer: Not only is he interested in you but you like him too. Situations like this are caused by sexual tension. It generally always ends with the two participants in bed together. I don’t know why, so don’t ask. I guess it’s just nature.

4) He never talks to you unless you’re in a group setting. Then he talks non stop and directly to you.

Answer: Yes, he’s uncomfortable with the idea of talking to you solo. Alone, he is afraid he will run out of things to say. This is where if you too are interested, you take the lead and carry the conversation. He’ll relax and you can see where it is heading.

5) Calls or texts you out of the blue.

Answer: Yep, unless you two were actually friends enough for him to know he could do this without your approval. For some guys it’s easier to break the ice electronically. Rejection isn’t as sever when there is a medium in the middle. He knows that if you’re not interested then you’ll simply not respond.

6) He always has something nice to say. Hey, I like your hair. Or that’s a nice dress/skirt.

Answer: Yes, if you noticed these compliments are appropriate. Now on the other hand if he says something like, ” Your ass looks good in those jeans.” Then he’s interested, but in something else. I think you may want to pass on compliments of this nature.

7) He tries to include you in on things he’d like to do. “Hey, lets all go have a drink after work?”

Answer: Yes. He’s probably afraid to ask you solo (fear rejection) and as soon as you’re in a group setting refer to answer #4.

8) He never acknowledges you. He’ll talk to your friends and in group settings he will not acknowledge you at all. You may say something to him and he’ll act as if he didn’t hear you causing you frustration and anguish, especially if you’re attracted to him.

Answer:Probably Yes. Chances are you’re the most beautiful woman in the group, work or class. Men tend to flock around you and bend over backwards to be near you. This guy doesn’t want to be like one of them. His goal is to make you come to him if you want to get to know him. He’s confident, intelligent and not about to be like one of the guys chasing you around all day. He’s also patient and he knows that you’re wondering why he won’t acknowledge you and your girlfriends, or co-workers are wondering too. He’s expecting that at some point your curiosity will get the best of you and you’ll approach him and then you’ll become friends and possibly a pair and he’ll have accomplished his objective. He got the most beautiful woman in the room, and he didn’t have to kiss her ass to do it.

9) He asks you out, to dinner, a movie, lunch or anywhere for that matter. The key is he asked you. Then afterwards he doesn’t call or come by as you hoped.

Answer: Probably yes. Sometimes men are not sure the date went as well as they planned and they fear that they disappointed you. Give him a call and ask for a repeat performance on you. By doing this you’re telling him that you did enjoy his company and he was as charming as he thought he was.

10) He tells everyone but you how he feels about you.

Answer: Duh! (Rejection fear factor) He tells people that he knows will relay the information to you. Then he sits back to judge your reaction to the thought. He lacks confidence, but you have to give him a B+ for ingenuity. Generally though it may come from a guy that doesn’t interest you, but if he does you may want to capitalize on it.

That was interesting, or at least I thought so. However I still believe as I stated above that women and girls for that matter always know. But for those of you that sometimes just aren’t sure I hope this little exercise helps some. If not then I suggest that you simply throw caution to the wind and just ask him. He may be a little shocked at your directness, but hell life is short and if you’re anything like me I do not want to look back at blown opportunities caused by failure to ask.

I’ve always thought it would be better to know the answer, good or bad as far as relationships go. I refused to look back and wonder what she would be like if I were interested in her. I wanted to always be able to look back and say, at least I asked, I took the chance and regardless of success or failure I tried. That’s what life is about, trying, taking chances, success and failure. That’s why it’s so great, you never know unless you at least try.

Happy New Years!

 

How to find out if he’s cheating today!

Over the last few months I’ve written several post to teach you ladies how to catch your man if he was cheating. In one post I even taught you how to tell if he was lying or not. These were and remain really hot topics on this blog and I appreciate it. I really enjoy the success stories where many of you have actually caught your man and he didn’t even suspect you knew. I’m both happy and sad that now you guys are out of these relationships but it bothered me with the amount of hurt these so called boyfriends caused.

Once they were caught I somehow felt responsible for some of the hurt many of you suffered. However, I felt solace in the fact that as one of you wrote to me and thanked me for assisting her in identifying that her whole relationship was a lie. She said she has since moved on and that her new man, is caring, loving and attentive to her needs. Congratulations to her and I wish her luck in the future as I wish all of you.

Now the reason for this post is this, I’m still receiving e-mails from those of you who simply cannot pull the trigger so to speak. After all you did to find out the truth, you’re still not sure if he’s lying or telling you the truth. Man, either he’s good at lying or many of you may not want to face the truth. It’s ok though, I’m only here to assist, any choice you make is your own. Good, bad or otherwise.

However, to assist you in finding out for sure if he’s cheating I decided to simplify the process for you.  Learning to tell if he’s lying takes time, practice and the ability to step emotionally away from your feelings in order to see the truth. Emotion is strange that way, we can tell a best friend all day long to leave their cheating spouse or boyfriend because we have no emotional attachment. We can see how screwed up her relationship is, but she cannot, because emotionally she’s blind to it. It happens to us all.

So today, I am going to give you a sure fire way to find out if your man, or even your best friends man is cheating. This is my Christmas Gift to you all, especially the ones who take the time to write to me and say hello from time to time. 

Now this system is simple but it will require the assistance of a co-worker, family friend or girlfriend whom your significant other does not know. Think about it, this selection is crucial to you uncovering the truth so chose wisely. Oh, and make sure it’s someone you trust and will be able to keep a secret forever. Do you know someone like this? Good! I would gladly do it for you if I could.

Here’s what you do, have this person call your boyfriend, mate, husband or whomever your significant other is and do exactly as I say. Trust me this is a tried and proven method and within minutes you’ll know for sure if he is playing around with someone else.

The call:

Your Man : Hello

Trusted friend: Hi, (enthusiastically)is this _ _ _ _ _ _?  My name is Jane (made up) and I work for Sweet Hearts Florist and you have been selected to receive absolutely free, one dozen red roses! A fifty dollar Value!

Your Man: Are you Serious?

Trusted friend: That’s correct, absolutely free and we even take care of the shipping for you.

Your Man: Cool!

Trusted friend: _ _ _ _ _ , all we need from you is the name and address of the person you’d like for these beautiful long stem roses to be shipped to and we’ll send them out today.

Your Man: OK, you can send them to _ _ _ _ _ , at (whatever address)

Trusted friend: Thank you _ _ _ _ _, and please tell your friends and family members about us.

Your Man: Oh, I will. Thank you.

Trusted friend: Have a good day.

Now, some of you may be skeptical about this scheme and that’s a good thing scepticism is a sign of intelligence. It says you’re thinking. You really should think before doing something such as this. You really have nothing to gain and on the other hand you may have something to lose, you man. Not because you attempted this scheme, but because he may fall for it as so many men and women have and send those roses to someone else. There’s a lot of pressure to make a call like this, and you have to decide, do you really want to know?  Think about it. Now on the other hand, he may give your trusted friend your name and address. I really hope he does, I like happy endings.

While you think about whether this is something you can do or not let’s fine tune it a bit. Make sure that the person you have call has a professional voice and demeanor. The script I wrote out above is just that a script. Very seldom does the best made plan go according to plan, so think ahead in the event he starts to ask questions.

One question that comes to mind is, “How did you get my name?”  One answer could be, we got your name and number from a Hotel you and he stayed in recently, or a place you had dinner at, or one of his credit card companies. If he’s you man you should know where he shops, what type of credit cards he possesses or a hotel you and he stayed in. Or even a Airline he recently flew on will suffice. Think and you’ll have the answer.

Next question: He may ask if he can pick the roses up. No, because you are located in a different State.

He may asked that you send them to him: No you have a dilemma. You can and it could be a good idea, because then you could see if he brings them home to you.

Are you still thinking? Contemplating?  There’s no reason to rush into this, take your time. I’ll write some more.

What if he wants to send them to you? Good right? Maybe, but then you have two choices, you can send yourself roses or you can tell him that someone tried to deliver roses to you and you refused because they wouldn’t tell you who they were from. Sorry! However, it was really the thought that counts! Thank you.

What if he asks your trusted friend for a call back number? Simply make up a 800 number and if he says he’ll call back to give you the name and address for the shipment, politely inform him that you need the information right now, or you’ll have to call the second person on the list. That’s contest rules. Had he not answered, you were prohibited from leaving a message or to attempt to call him again. Your instructions were if he answered, he won, if not call the next person on the list. Trust me, free makes peoples ears perk up.

Here is a perfect example of how people react to hearing free, in the past some Police Departments around the country have sent out letters to individuals that have warrants for their arrest. In these letters they have instructed them that they were invited to a party where each guest would receive free gifts totalling as much as $500.00. All this person had to do was to bring the invitation and a form of ID to be admitted into the function where they would receive a free dinner and gift. Free! Hundreds of individuals would show up and would be identified with their own ID and then be arrested, saving Law Enforcement thousands of dollars in man hours to have to hunt for these people. Free is an aphrodisiac for us all.

Don’t have a trusted friend? Try it this way if you’d like. Send him a dozen roses to his work place with nothing on the card except, Thinking about you! No name, phone number or anything. Have a female at the florist write the note and pay for it in cash so they have no record of who you are.

If he doesn’t call and ask if you sent him roses, you have a problem. If he doesn’t bring them home, you have a problem. If he never mentions the fact that he received roses, you have a serious problem.

Still thinking? Think long and hard and you and only you can decide if this is something you would like to try. Only you know in your heart if he’s cheating on you and only you can catch him and put this matter to rest. Only you know if it’s worth the trouble to do this feat. Only you know if it’s better not to know than to know. Only you can make this decision. Choose wisely.

 

Merry Christmas

Anonymousmale1